The silent sadness*

Heavenly Father,
This is the hope I have for my tears: that they may be united with Christ's suffering, and "for the sake of His sorrowful passion, (that God) have mercy on us & on the whole world," as the words of the Divine Mercy prayer implores our Lord and Savior.
I know too that the depth of one's sadness can also be a measure of one's capacity for joy.
In Jesus' name. Amen.

A tremendous heart-felt thank you to my friend Mary W.
I read her blog the other day; she spoke to the fear she had when her doctor told her there was a "thickness in one of her breasts," to which she later found out was nothing, PTL; but that experience, and how she expressed her fear, gives me the courage to put these words on my blog and be vulnerable to my readers.
So thank you Mary!
& to Mary, the Mother of our Savior, a very reverent thank you, because when she was told that a "sword would pierce her heart" for the suffering she was to receive on seeing her only Son crucified, she gave us a model of how to handle intense anguish - putting our faith in God's will.

The "lacerations" I feel from my depression* provide me with colossal more compassion for the legion of atrocities both in the world and on a local scale, than if I didn't suffer from the little d.
I'm less judgmental of others and more open to forgiveness.
I'm actually happier after walking through my winter.
I find I also understand the word Love - as a verb - better.

 

Never underestimate the power of agony.

 

Our world has a compulsion to feel better, happier, and offers a plethora of imbecilic things to satiate not only our insecurities, but all the dark places in our souls no one wants to talk about, or even acknowledge, and this is not the correct way to deal with our "sacred suffering!"

I'm warning you world, I do want to feel bad! LOL

Feeling bad puts feeling good in proper perspective.

Next time you feel yourself low, feel the low. Thank your emotion, learn from the emotion, and then cheer up again, as this is a temporary state of being.
If you feel yourself severely decumbent and for a longer than usual period of time, seek help, yes, but also feel the lowness. Seek to learn from the subjacent and don't be so quick to dismiss the lowering; if you cling to your torment you just might find some terrific insight about yourself, or the world around you, or draw yourself closer to Jesus.

"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa

June 2013

 

Heavenly Father,

Bless all those traveling this summer with safe journeys to and from their destinations. May the souls of the 19 firefighters who perished in the wildfires in Arizona rest in peace. In Jesus' name. Amen.

 

 

June's collage came together smoothly and easily. 

June has been a month of...

REST.

Waking up at nine in the morning is such a luxury!

During the school year, I wake up at 5:30 a.m. to get ready to go to work.

Funny, during June, I don't even slightly wake up around the 5 - 6 a.m. hour, LOL.

I've given up trying to sleep until noon, like I did when I was in my late teens and early twenties; just doesn't happen anymore, I'm happy to say.

A few days after I was done with work, I realized how perfectly tired I was and how much downtime I required.

I want to learn how to swim! I've put this off for far too long..."Get hip," is a pun on swimming. The phrase "Pave the way to good health," = swimming.

The picture behind the cut-outs on the collage is a picture I drew of a sun rising/setting on the ocean. I crave the beach and pray I make it to warm waters sometime before August this year, preferably in Florida.

"See the signs," is a phrase that I've taken literally, because I have been looking for ''signals'' as a way of discerning God's will for my life, my relationships, career, love life...God does send signs - keep hope alive! Be sure you're alert to them, they are all around us. *Just as a silly example, there is a particular person's name I am praying for discernment on, and I saw a street with this name; I took this as notification that God is hearing my prayers.

In this particular collage, I did add some political words: DOMA - because of the Supreme Court's landmark ruling that marriages between people of the same sex are legal and binding. With a couple of caveats, of course; this is all good if  you live in a state that allows those unions. If you move from a state that recognizes same-sex marriages to a state that doesn't recognize your connection, you lose any benefits you may have had in the pro-same sex marriage state.

The other 'political' word: Mandela; he is in critical health right now with pneumonia. Everyone is praying he recover.

Then there's the tattle-tale: Snowden; he is currently residing in Russia's airport. His passport has been revoked, but Putin has refused to release him to the US. Without a passport Snowden can't travel to Ecuador, which is where he was heading. 

Snowden is a mixed bag of thoughts for me;

I think he thought he was doing a good thing by telling the citizens of the US that our government is spying on us;

but I think it was a terrible idea for him to leak US secrets about our allies and enemies.

This collage is longer than the others, and besides me writing in these political words at the top, I also have the phrase "Making a difference with students." Then there's this photo:

 

 which didn't come out as clear as I'd like, but hopefully you get the gist; there's an angel pointing at the person laying under a tree with one arm; the other arm is pointing away.

The biblical interpretation could be, "Get up and walk, your father has healed you," or "Be on your way, someone awaits you..." Holy words to be sure.

Now here's my interpretation: "Get up you lazy bum (meaning me) and stop wasting summer by doing nothing!"

With God's blessing, July is going to be a busy month! >wink<

 

"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa