Sunday, January 27, 2013

***new kind of blogging***

Heavenly Father,
Bless my words as I write this blog; to give You greater glory. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Conversation between Carlton & I Friday night @ dinner:
"Did you read my blog?"
"Yes."
"And?"
"It was okay."
"Why doesn't my blog appeal to you?"
"The things you write about don't interest me. I don't need to read about mom's bday, I was there. You sound like a fourteen year old girl. Bff & all that other stuff."
"?!!! So what would you like me to write about?"
"You're an insightful person. When I read your blogs I don't hear that insightful person."
"You know, some people take 'insightful' for being judgmental."
"That's not what I mean. You reflect on things. You think about things deeply."
"There's a vulnerability that comes with that and I'm not sure I'm comfortable writing about those things, but I guess that's what makes a good blog. No fluff."
"Who are you writing for?"
"Myself, mostly."
What I didn't say to him was, 'Like you, I don't think most people read what I write, but if I had an audience, I think it would be my Facebook friends.'
"Well then, write about what you think about."
"Well ok then. I'll start with a blog about this conversation."

"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Positive notes



 
Heavenly Father,
Bless all eyes reading this blog.
Prayers for special intentions;
-hope for family and friends who have entrusted me to pray for them;
-prayers for the ailing;
-homeless;
-hungry,
-all those who have no one to pray for them;
-for the unemployed;
and for the spirits of souls locked here on earth, that we may all be allowed to see the light of your face.
Lord, I know you hear my continual pleas of mercy for
-atheists;
-agnostics;
and the oppressed, and I am truly grateful.
I thank you for
-all prayers answered;
and unanswered.
For peace;
-in our world;
-in our families;
and in all our relationships.
Bless us to keep our eyes on You, always. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
Dearest reader,
 
LOL
 
In case you can't see the words written on the paper, I have made mom and I "Good Things Happen 2013," jars.
 



I got the idea from FB.
Mom and I have already put in notes, and plan to read them this NYE, so we can remember all the wonderful things that happened this year. :)
Happy New Year, everyone, may it be our most sanctified yet!
 
I found this quote from JPII when I was looking for a replacement quote of Mother Theresa's words I have at the end of each blog entry.
(Too long to put at the end of every post, me thinks, but certainly worth posting. I really like what JPII says, so I may re-think not posting it.)
It is Jesus that you seek when you dream of happiness; He is waiting for you when nothing else you find satisfies you; He is the beauty to which you are so attracted; it is He who provoked you with that thirst for fullness that will not let you settle for compromise; it is He who urges you to shed the masks of a false life; it is He who reads in your heart your most genuine choices, the choices that others try to stifle.

It is Jesus who stirs in you the desire to do something great with your lives, the will to follow an ideal, the refusal to allow yourselves to be ground down by mediocrity, the courage to commit yourselves humbly and patiently to improving yourselves and society, making the world more human and more fraternal.”
Pope John Paul II





Amen! PTL!



 

Monday, December 31, 2012

Speech! Speech! What speech?!

Heavenly Father,
Bless all eyes reading this blog. Special intentions and prayers for the sick, the ailing, homeless, hungry, all those who have no one to pray for them, and for the unemployed. Prayers for atheists, agnostics, and the oppressed. For peace in our world, and in our families. For two personal prayers. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
Carlton and I were extremely pleased with mom's celebration. Many people complimented us, and it sounded like they had a good time. So PTL on how well things turned out, and that everyone was happy, especially nuestra mama. :)
I didn't have time to give the speech I prepared, so I'll write it here instead.
First & foremost, I want to thank Mom for introducing me to her bff, Jesus Christ, who is now my bff too. This is such a powerful, on-going, grace-filled relationship and I am most grateful to my mom for the introduction.
It is such a pleasure, an honor, and a love to pray with my mom - at daily/weekend masses.  Mom and I have grown closer to each other/God in our faith journey. And we pray about Everything! When we have a technician coming to our house, or when bills arrive, for any and all worries we have. It is awesome to have such a wonderful prayer partner. Thank you Jesus!
As many would agree, my mom is a giving person. I remember being 10 or 11 and riding around with mom as she took welfare recipients to their doctor's appointments. I can only hope to be as caring as she is.
On a lighter note, mom has two major likes in her life:
-getting her hair done;
- eating sweet potato;
 
My nickname for Mom is Sweet Potato. Sometimes Mom jokes that her hair looks like George Washington's. So now I've been calling her, "Sweet Potato Washington."
 
Thank you, again, Lord, for blessing me with such a great Mom!
 

"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Mom turns 80 soon

Hello friends,
Heavenly Father, bless all eyes reading this blog. Special intentions and prayers for the sick, the ailing, homeless, hungry, all those who have no one to pray for them, and for the unemployed. Prayers for atheists, agnostics, and the oppressed. For peace in our world, and in our families. For two personal prayers. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
Carlton and I are getting ready to celebrate mom's big 8 - 0 bday in a couple of weeks.
Carlton had the wonderful idea of putting lights around the trees in my backyard, where we'll be having the dinner for mom, and they look great. :)


We'll have tables and chairs arranged nicely and welcoming.
We're looking forward to at least 30 - 50 celebrants; mom's friends from church, friends from when she/we lived in Denton, and friends from any other area of her life.
My friend's and my brother's friends who know my mom on a more personal basis than just a hello/good-bye, will also be in attendance.
We're also hoping my mom's two remaining sisters will come and join us in the festivities, as well as cousins. I have sent invitations to my dad's side of the family, but I know they live far and air travel is expensive. They'll be with us in our hearts.

 
Mariachí's äre hired. Not a full band, but two musicians who will play for about a half hour, 45 minutes max.Can't wait to see mom's face when they play!
 


What celebration is complete without sweets? Besides the people attending - I mean desserts! We decided to go with cupcakes from our all-time new fav of a place:

 

I'll be calling the people who have already RSVPéd and ask them to be prepared to tell us how they know mom, and what their favorite memory with/about mom is and share with us. Can't wait to hear all the stories! :) Love you mom!!! And here's to 80 more years! :) :) :)


"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa

Sunday, October 7, 2012

This is "A Muse ing."

Hello friends,
Heavenly Father, bless all eyes reading this blog. Special intentions and prayers for the sick, the ailing, homeless, hungry, all those who have no one to pray for them, and for the unemployed. Prayers for atheists, agnostics, and the oppressed. For peace in our world, and in our families. For two personal prayers. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
The definition for. Muse is this. Associated with artistic. Inspiration; I have. been fortunate, or. unfortunate to have. Several muses throughout. My life and. This is about. My latest muse. He is someone. I enjoy talking. to and sharing. A good laugh. Mostly I like. Filling in his. Outline with traits. I admire in. Men; so its. An interesting interaction. He is highly. Intelligent, of course. He is funny. I accept him. For who he. Is and not. Expect too much. From our interplay. Every now and. Then I Get. Frustrated with our. Stunted conversations, and. Our texts are. like this blog. We text and. have a frenzy. Of great synergy. And then it. will stop, mostly. He won't initiate. Texts, or ask. Questions, about me. But I do. Like that I. Can text him. And pretty much. Always get a. Response from him. Not a quick. Response, but a. Reply, nonethe. Less...
A little background on the nine muses of Greek Mythology,and a few comments.
"At one time, the goddesses of prophetic springs, the Muses became the representatives of poetry, the arts and science. Today we generally refer to the nine muses, although their number has varied. The nine are Calliope, Muse of epic song, Clio, Muse of history, Euterpe, Muse of lyric song, Thalia, Muse of comedy and bucolic poetry, Melpomene, Muse of tragedy, Terpsichore, Muse of dance, Erato, Muse of erotic poetry, Polyhymnia, Muse of sacred song, and Urania, Muse of astronomy."
I like the number 9, and it is a highly spiritual number in the bible. Most of us prolly have at least nine muses. *wink*
One other thing, before I'm done writing this blog, for some odd reason, I imagine my muse singing the Alex Clare song to me. You know the one, "Too close." (words that are bolded are my "contribution")
You know I'm not one to break promises (yeah right)
I don't want to hurt you (but you're going to anyway) but I need to breathe
At the end of it all, you're still my best friend (!?what?! how can this possibly be?)
But there's something inside that I need to release (I hope it isn't gas, LOL)
Which way is right, which way is wrong (do I look like some sort of GPS device?!)
How do I say that I need to move on (like you just did)
You know we're headed separate ways (yes, this is true)

And it feels like I am just too close to love you (I understand...this is 'artist speak' for something like 'too close, faraway', isn't it)
There's nothing I can really say (oh you've said plenty already, and I get it)
I can't lie no more, I can't hide no more (you've been lying AND hiding! Geez!)
Got to be true to myself (yes, and so do I)
And it feels like I am just too close to love you (& you're too far for me to love you)
So I'll be on my way (here, let me help you pack)

You gave me more that I can return (you got that right!)
Yet there's so much that you deserve (yes, go on...)
Nothing to say, nothing to do, (again, you've said plenty)
I've nothing to give (that was actually ok for a very brief time)
I must leave without you (here's where I got these lyrics from:[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/too-close-lyrics-alex-clare.html ]

(the song repeats & I think you get the idea)
Believe it or not, I do immensely enjoy this song! :)

Monday, September 17, 2012

Here, have some time

Hello friends,
Heavenly Father, bless all eyes reading this blog. Special intentions and prayers for the sick, the ailing, homeless, hungry, all those who have no one to pray for them, and for the unemployed. Prayers for atheists, agnostics, and the oppressed. For peace in our world, and in our families. For two personal prayers. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
There are those rare moments in life where we are "given" time. Not like the time we purchase at a parking meter, or a long--awaited vacation day; nor is this free time due to inclement weather, or a flat tire.
No, this "blocked off time" is jury duty.
Or jury doodie, if you like puns, or bathroom humor.
It's like having a complimentary day off - a welcome distraction. The "lucky chance," to do something good for society.
I think I'm one of those rare people who enjoys doing her civil obligation, but I bet there are others like me. The time provides me with the opportunity to write a blog, people watch, and read.
Even though I am way too liberal to do anyone any good, more's the pity. But I still show up because maybe I'll be needed this time...
People watching in a courthouse is interesting and entertaining, though a bit bland.
I mean bland in that you can categorize people fairly easily.
There are basically five different kinds of people in a courthouse.
The lawyers, plantiff(s), defendant(s), judge and jurors.
Guys with baggy pants, tats, and a bit of a swagger, are usually the plantiffs, possibly defendants. The gals aren't well-dressed, but they are presentable. Men with ties, ladies in nice dresses with high heels, are lawyers, conceivably judges. Then there's 'us' the ordinary, everyday dressed people, the peers for the innocent, or accused, with badges that say 'juror'.
When I mentioned my observations of the five people you'll find in a courthouse to my brother, he brought up a good point. All of us, ie society, are one of the people in the five groups, at different times in our days, if not in our lives; metaphorically, and literally, if you think about it.
I wasn't chosen for a jury, along with 65 other people, and at around 11:15 in the morning, we were allowed to leave.

"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Kids are kids

Hello friends,
Heavenly Father, bless all eyes reading this blog. Special intentions and prayers for the sick, the ailing, homeless, hungry, all those who have no one to pray for them, and for the unemployed. Prayers for atheists, agnostics, and the oppressed. For peace in our world, and in our families. For two personal prayers. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
Drive to work
Even though I am traveling further, I enjoy the drive. At my previous job, I listened/prayed my rosary CD, get to the beginning of the fifth mystery, and have to stop because I'd arrive at school. When I pull up to my new school, the rosary is finished. It's a great way to start the day! =)
This is Lake Ray Hubbard, but it almost looks like a beach (I wish!).
Staff
I started my new job at a Professional development day, Thursday, of last week. The staff is extremely friendly and welcoming. I did my best to move from table to table to introduce myself and speak to everyone.

Highlight
I sang the A-B-C song with the cutest first grader on the first day of school. I was sitting on the stage in the auditorium (which is a story in itself, but not worth telling), when he asked if he could sit next to me. Since he is too short to reach the stage, I put a chair up against the stage for him to crawl on, which  he clumsily did, looking proud as he settled himself. I asked him to say his ABC's to me. He kept skipping J, K, L, so I wrote the letters down for him, pointing to them as we sang the song together. He did better after a few tries. =)
Moms
I know mom's are attached to their children, but wow, please just drop off your kindergartner, or pre-k sweet 'um at the teacher's door with a kiss and a hug, and then please walk away quickly. The children will be better adjusted than if you stand there and coo, or try to hold on to them. Your anxiety creates anxiety in your children. There were a couple of mom's that created an unnecessary scene. It took some time to calm the kids, and separate the mom, but that so could have been avoided.
Kids are kids
I was asked during my interview if I thought a child in an urban setting, was different from a child in a country setting. No, there is no difference. Children are the same. Parents and teachers make the difference.

The school district of Dallas
Unlike the media in the area, I refuse to join in the criticism of the district. Just like many teachers, Dallas has some highly talented professionals in the classroom, where students are loved and pushed to reach beyond their potential. Keep in mind: this district is HUGE; there are 150,000 students entering their doors every day school is in session. The district does the best it can, with what it has, and I applaud it's effort. Teachers are the heroes in any school district; Dallas is no different.
Support
I am enjoying my new job. I delight in helping others, and this position gives me the opportunity to assist many children, parents, and others in various levels of administration. I pray God bless me with all I need, so that I reflect Christ in everything, and everyone sees Christ in me.
Jesus, bless teachers with a great year!!!

"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Back to work, eh?

Hello friends,
Heavenly Father, bless all eyes reading this blog. Special intentions and prayers for the sick, the ailing, homeless, hungry, all those who have no one to pray for them, and for the unemployed. Prayers for atheists, agnostics, and the oppressed. For peace in our world, and in our families. For two personal prayers. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
     The kiddies will return this Monday, and I begin my new position as an Elementary School Counselor, where I, along with all the staff, have 600 plus students in our care.
      I am a bit anxious, as anyone who is starting a new appointment will be, but I remain positive and pray to the Lord for guidance, showing me ways to give Him greater glory through this new career.
     It was a bumpy ride getting here.
     I accepted the job offer on the Saturday before the week of  professional development at my old school-district. When I informed my old principal I had obtained employment elsewhere, she told me that I was still under contract with my old district, and that she needed to find a replacement before I could be released from my obligations.
     That Monday at my old school, I thought about the things I could be doing if I were in my office, but I did manage to keep myself in the present. At one point I just had to say, "God's will be done," and accept that I might be in my old assignment for a minimum of two weeks, possibly longer.
     My new principal assured me the job was still mine, but I was tense; I was unsure how this delay was going to affect me in performing my new duties.
     I sympathized with my old principal; she was doing what she thought was best for the students.
I think when she realized she might not find the exact person she was looking for, and needed to change her strategy in finding an alternate, she released me fairly quickly Wednesday morning. Wednesday afternoon I was in an orientation for new school counselors in my new district. God blessed me with a couple of days in my office for organizing, organizing, and even more organizing. I was also 'officially' introduced to the staff, students and parents, so things worked out just fine, PTL.
      I pray that all teachers and students, everywhere, have a most blessed academic 2012-2013 school year. In Jesus' name, Amen.

"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Guy-Girl-Friends

Hello friends,
Heavenly Father, bless all eyes reading this blog. Special intentions and prayers for the sick, the ailing, homeless, hungry, all those who have no one to pray for them, and for the unemployed. Prayers for atheists, agnostics, and the oppressed. For peace in our world, and in our families. For two personal prayers. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
     Recently, I hung out with my brother and a couple of his friends, both male. I usually have a good time with my brother's friends, and we have lots to talk about while enjoying each other's company. There was a great reason for our gathering, too: making sandwiches for the homeless.
     The organization hosting the event asked that volunteers bring certain items to the venue. I picked up the items on the morning of the adventure.
     All of us met at a central area, and then we drove to the place together.
     My bro's friends didn't bring anything*, and we were more than willing to share.
     I've been with my brother and his friends before, and sometimes they are 'on the prowl,' {for women} which is fine, because I can amuse myself while their nonsense happens, lol.
     I quickly realized, though, I shouldn't be with 'the guys,' on this particular outing, even though it was for an altruistic purpose. As I've already mentioned, guys on the prowl don't bother me, but disrespect for the woman in their group does bother me.
     After we were done making sandwiches, we went to a restaurant where one of the guys had a former gf. I jokingly remarked, "If we avoided all the places where you have a former gf, we might as well eat at home." Zing. The guy laughed good-naturally, but I knew he was a little embarrassed by my observation.
    My brother thought I was disrespectful to the guys also, so I'm acknowledging this may have been the case, and not make it seem like the guys were the only ones being untoward. However, I don't appreciate f bombs said in my presence, or the spelling out of women's body parts. When I spoke up about the words I didn't like, I was given an apology by, "...it would be ok if I were drinking and I said it." To which I still disagreed. Then it dawned on me: these guys didn't have a clue how to interact with me. I wasn't someone they were going to pick up, and they had no interest in being friends with me. I felt like they wanted to treat me like 'one of the guys,' especially with the foul language, but when I wasn't 'grateful' for being included in the 'boy's club,' the tone of the conversation changed.
     I also noted that these guys wanted to talk about the women in their lives, or the lack of women. It was fun to listen to their women woes; it's a rarity for a woman to hear men speak about their sorrows regarding relationships. I listened and gave advice, but didn't glean much else from the exchange, except that these men are pretty obvious about looking for sex. Now, I know some of you may say that is all men are looking for, and this is probably true, but as my friend Sherry Argov says, and I'm paraphrasing, "We {women} have to turn it into something else."
      I came to the conclusion that I can't hang out with these particular men again. I'm sad knowing this, because I feel like such a snob. But I'm not, I just expect respect.
     * I allude to this because I know the guys thought about bringing some things, but didn't. Nor did they thank my brother and me for our contribution. I get the impression these guys want to know what they can get, or are going to get, from any given situation; as opposed to seeing how they can add, or what they are bringing to the table. This 'taking' attitude isn't a good look for men. These aren't the kinds of men I'd consider dating, and I'm sure I'm 'too high maintance' for them, lol. Ladies, pay attention to these 'small details,' they tell a lot about a guy's character.



"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa

Monday, August 6, 2012

Seeking a job in the big city

Hello friends,
Heavenly Father, bless all eyes reading this blog. Special intentions and prayers for the sick, the ailing, homeless, hungry, all those who have no one to pray for them, and for the unemployed. Prayers for atheists, agnostics, and the oppressed. For peace in our world, and in our families. For two personal prayers. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
     My job search has taken me all over the 'big city'.***
     I've been interviewed by at least six different principals, all in public schools, in the last two or three weeks. Not that I'm complaining. Having interviews is a tremendous blessing; my hope is with the Lord. I pray He will guide me, and the interviewer, to a magnificent fit, beneficial to the students, staff, parents, and community at large. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
     The first interview I had was for two schools. A dear friend of mine worked at one of the schools, and asked her principal to speak with me. Her principal obliged her, but once I realized I was going to be in charge of two schools, I politely declined. I want to have some experience before undertaking such a huge endeavor.
     The second school was close to a Catholic church; I could attend church once my work day was done. I was really hoping for this school. I felt like I could make a difference here, as I've felt with all the schools where I applied. In addition, it wasn't far from my house, and the mascot was cool. Seriously, the school was about three minutes from a place of worship. Alas, though, within a few days I was notified by the secretary saying the position was filled.
     The third interview I had was for a school comprised of mostly homeless children. A truly special place, where a person with a compassionate heart was needed. I felt immediately protective of these young ones, and just knew I could empower them. It was the principal's interaction with one of the teachers,who was moving to another school, that made me hesitant. Hmm, could I work for her? School counseling isn't the same as being a teacher. My position is to support principal, staff, and above all, the students; along with an affirmative reciprocity with the community at large. But there was no need for me to worry - I wasn't offered the position.
     The fourth school had a principal I quickly liked, and knew we'd make a great team. She and I had the same ideas for school activities, and we spoke for at least an hour, maybe more. This school was a bit of a drive, but the principal inspired me enough to want to be on her team, regardless of the distance. She told me she'd call me on Monday; Monday became Tuesday. The following Monday I called her, but her secretary said she had already hired a school counselor. I cried about the loss of this opportunity. I just felt so comfortable with the principal, and the surroundings.
     The next interview I had was in the district I currently work for, and for a school where I had been a teacher. I knew I wasn't going to take the position, but I wanted the exposure of the interview. It was a growing experience. I wasn't happy at this school, which made going back to it kind of surreal. The dialogue was fine; no tension. I gladly received the email saying the principal went with someone else.
     The sixth interview was not in the safest of areas; as my mom and I perused the campus together, the day before my appointment. Mom seemed fairly worried, which I didn't like, because I don't need my mom worrying about me, but someone needed to attend to these children too. The conference was smooth going, but I was concerned about a couple of things. The two counselors that were employed, were no longer working there. Why were both of them gone? I didn't ask, but I was wondering. The VP mentioned long hours after the school day was done, not a completely bad thing, but then he added that one or two days out of the weekend might also be needed. This alarmed me, especially with there being two counselors. I was also told that I was to act like a kind of 'snitch' for administration. If there were teachers not compling with school/district 'rules and regulations,' I had to tell the principal, the VP, or both. Hmm...thankfully, I was not chosen for this situation either.

     I know God is with me, and He has my best interests at heart. I am 'expectantly hopeful' in the Lord! I also have an 'army of prayer warriors,' and I ask that God especially bless these people, as they have been angels to me in my search. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

As this post is being published, I have an interview today with a middle School...PTL!

*** I do have a job in the Fall, it's just not a counseling job.

"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Give it to God

Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for all answered prayers, and for always opening my eyes to new ways of looking at situations. Prayers for all those who have asked me to pray for them; for the health of a very special friend, and for two very special intentions. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
      People make poor decisions, and then they ask God why He's not helping them. As if doing things in our own egotistical and selfish way has ever worked out for us. LOL
     God makes it pretty clear that we've got to sincerely, truly, with all our hearts, minds, and souls, believe in Him, and that He is going to take care of us, but we have to do our part too.
     For example, I probably know on some level, conscious or not, that living with a guy before marriage is not living a Godly life. But I do it anyway. Then I ask God why the relationship ended. Or maybe I'm asking God why He brought this person into my life, if things weren't going to work out for us? God brings all kinds of people into our lives, and sometimes we just need to know it's not always about us, and our lessons.
     If we are open to God working in our lives, He can bring about extraordinary change(s)! Here's the marvelous conversion He brought to me.
     I've always thought my mom and I didn't get along because she and I are so different. I realize now that my attitude, as well as my skewed view of mom's behavior - I was always on the defensive - has caused more of a rift between the two of us than anything else! WOW! But you know, this paradigm shift has been extremely beneficial to the connection between us. I can now see the love my mom has for me in how she responds to me.
     An instance where mom and I usually had tension was with our housekeeper. I felt sorry for my domestic help, because my mom can be somewhat cantankerous and demanding in what she expects. Usually, I end up firing various 'employees', because mom is so criticizing of the work they do.
     I used to tell my mother, "Hey, you aren't paying these workers, I am. Please don't tell them anything." Now I understand that mom was irate because I wasn't getting my money's worth from them. She was fighting for excellence! I now thank my mom for speaking up against shoddy done chores, and pray that I have her courage to complain when she's not there.
     God woke me up to this new reality. I began acting in a more loving, calming, and patient way toward my mother. You might be wondering, you're just now thinking about God's love for all of us and acting in this way? But what was lacking, was my genuine effort to change my behavior. Whereas before I was content with 'unpleasant togetherness,' with my mom, now, with God's energy and purpose alive in me, love is flowing and joining us closer than ever.
     The HS is guiding me, and cascading through me, helping me discern the truth behind mom's actions. I wouldn't be able to do any of this by myself. I'd just make things worse! LOL I can't do anything without God in my life. I can't fully appreciate my mom's care for me, if I don't allow Christ to open my eyes. I want the best possible relationship I can have with my mom; she's 80. If not now, then when?
     I remember a priest telling the story of clashes between his brother and his father. When it came time for the father to pass, the brother exited the hospital room and asked the other brother, "What were all those fights for?"
     Allowing God to create a  precedent is a powerful thing. Let Him change your thinking, won't you? Only then can you fully live and love the life God has in store for you. Do your part today, and I guarantee you, God will do His part. Amen, Lord!

"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa

Monday, July 23, 2012

Why, God?

Dear Heavenly Father,
Special prayers and thoughts for the families of Aurora, Colorado. Continue teaching us about mercy and forgiveness, Lord, we haven't quite got it yet. In Jesus' name. Amen.
      When tragedies happen, like they did this past weekend in Aurora, Colorado, I'm sure there are people wondering where God was, and why didn't He prevent this from occurring?
      But God was there. He was in the heroes who protected the people around them, loved ones, and strangers. I heard the story of one 19-year-old who used himself as a shield so that no harm would come to the children sitting near him. Or the people who escaped and then returned to the auditorium to help the others. God arrived quickly with the police. These were God's ordinary people showing courage; they inspire me to be a hero everyday. We never know what a kindness can mean to a stranger.

"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Somebody that I used to know...

Heavenly Father,
Please bless everyone with safe travels, Lord. Prayers for those who have asked me to pray for them; for a couple of Special Intentions. Jesus, guide my words so that they bring you greater glory. In Jesus' name. Amen.
MUSIC
"Somebody that I used to know," by the artist "Goyte."
     I'm going to analyze this particular song, because it is incredibly haunting. This is not an attempt to saying anything untoward about Mr. Goyte himself, this is merely one woman's commentary on the behavior described in a song.
     I don't even particularly like the song, but I can't ever seem to change the channel on the radio when it's playing. I even sing along! LOL I heard from a friend that Goyte wrote this song as a compilation of his relationships. Are you familiar with the lyrics? No? Here they are, courtesy of a google search entitled, "Lyrics to Goyte's song 'Somebody that I used to know."(feat. Kimbra)
[Gotye:]
Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember
You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I was glad it was over
But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough
No you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
[Kimbra:]
Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
Part of me believing it was always something that I'd done
But I don't wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know
[Gotye:]
But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough
No you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
[x2]
Somebody
(I used to know)
Somebody
(Now you're just somebody that I used to know)
(I used to know)
(That I used to know)
(I used to know)
Somebody

     Let's start with the first stanza's, um, issues: 'told himself she was right for him'; why did he need to 'tell himself'? Was he 'convincing' himself? Ew. As Tiny Fey's 30Rock Liz Lemon character says, "Deal breaker. Shut it down." In the next sentence he says he was 'lonely in her company.' Well that is just plain wrong, for everyone involved.
     'That was love and it's an ache he can still remember.' In his mind, love aches. I'm a romantic too, but this thinking seems amiss. In love, longing is good, pain is not.
     'The lonely, tortured artist' shines forth brilliantly in the second stanza."You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness." He's feeling disappointed that his 'object of love,' was not  the 'perfect person for him,' as he hoped. This probably happens a lot to him; his disappointment transforms into anguish, and he knows the despondency so well, he's become addicted to it. Almost as if he's saying, "Oh yes, this isn't working...there's the familiar 'rush' of feeling grief."
     This line is kind of sweet, "When we found we could not make sense." He's justifying the loss of connection. The woman is allowed her say, and she tells him,  'We'll still be friends." Unfortunately, the 'friends' route doesn't work quite like either party thinks. Even though this guy is a lover of love, he goes on to say, "He was glad it was over." If you put this in a song, all your past lovers will wonder if you felt that way about them. No one likes to have 'we're done,' spelled out for them so cruelly. Note to self: try not to be too mean when writing an anthology 'love' song.
     But wait, then he gets affronted when she 'cuts it off,' and 'acts like it never happened, and that we were nothing.' But he just said he was relieved it was over. Such a guy response; only if the guy breaks it off is it okay to say barbarous things. But she wasn't merely talking: she knew something had to be done to make things 'final,' and she did them.
    So which is it? Is he sad or angry?  More than likely, he's both. He does seem genuinely flabbergasted by her behavior, poor guy, but let's hear what she thinks of their lost affinity.
     They both start off saying that they think of each other, 'every now and then,' and she remembers how 'he screwed her over,' but she isn't obsessing about it.
     When people say things like 'every now and then,' or 'I'm not someone who always needs to be in a relationship,' what they are really saying is 'I think about you constantly,' and 'I've had girlfriends since high school ..." The people in this song are just verbally jabbing at each other. They're both hurt, and they want the other to know it and feel it.
     She's like the 'universal woman,' when she says it was something she did. Many women have this notion. Take heart, though, when two people are involved, each person had something to do with the break-up.
     She's a strong woman too, as we can attest to when she affirms, "But I don't wanna live that way, reading into every word you say." What I find interesting is when she mentions, "You said you could let it go; and I wouldn't catch you hung up on someone you used to know." Was this the reason why this alliance wasn't going to work? Did he accuse her of feeling this way, but it was really him projecting his own hurt from a past relationship ... hmm.
         He is feeling spurned, but doesn't respond to her venting; he continues blowing out his pain, anger, and sadness. He repeats again, 'it wasn't necessary for her to make it seem like they never happened, and they are nothing'; but he has no 'counteroffer' for how they should behave. He says this twice, must be important. Which I think let's her and the listeners  know he felt more for her than he thought he did. Maybe. He's not happy they aren't 'one flame' anymore, and reluctantly acknowledges this is just how things go...what is the alternative? Being friends?... That doesn't work. Another approach might be committing to working on the complicated affair.
     If you've ever seen the video, you'll notice they are nude. Lots of vulnerability between them.
     Overall, I think this song is a win-win for everyone involved. His former gf has a song about his feelings on their break-up, and she has her say. The rest of us can relate to the purging of this couple, while enjoying the funky music.


"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa

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