When I call you friend

Hello www, Hope all is well in your world. I pray for peace everywhere: in families, between friends, and especially amongst enemies. Readers, I must tell you that this blog entry has been one of the most difficult for me to write. I’ve edited and re-edited this entry a dozen times, and that’s just been in the last day! Every time I thought I wrote what I thought would be a nice way of discussing this topic, my soul just didn’t feel right. And I’ve got to get this right, or it’s just going to come across as insincere and my writing quality will suffer for the ‘lie’ I wrote, so please keep this in mind as you read. As I’m turning the very young age of 40 this weekend and celebrating with friends on the beach, I began to reflect on all the friends I’ve had, and still have, these past 4 decades. When I was little, I remember going to church with my mom, and whenever there was a celebration being held after mass, we would attend. Of course there was always food present at these events, and being a child, I would want to grab a bunch of cookies, or whatever the treat was, and my mom always saying, “Think of others,” which was my mom’s way of basically saying that we weren’t to get all we wanted, that there needed to be enough for everyone to have some. Well this concept of ‘think of others,’ has stayed with me, especially with regard to friendship. I looked up the definition of friendship, just to see what good ol’ Webster had to say about it, “Friendship \Friend"ship\, n. [AS. fre['o]ndscipe. See Friend, and -ship.]1. The state of being friends; friendly relation, or attachment, to a person, or between persons; affection arising from mutual esteem and good will; friendliness; amity; good will. Notice that the definition considers friendship a noun, whereas I would say it is a verb. But this particular definition still didn’t fit my idea of friendship, so I looked at other meanings, “2. Kindly aid; help; assistance, [Obs.]” There it is, my defnition of friendship! When I call you friend, it basically means this: …yes, I will, as a favor to you and our friendship, have your sourpuss of a mother come over to my house for Easter, even though I’m inviting disaster into my home. …yes, I will, pray for your little boy’s illness every time you ask, even though I know you won't contact me again, until you need another prayer(s). …yes, I will, l listen to your problems even though I know you won't ask me about my life, or what’s going on with me. …yes, I will, help you through your “I’m-having-a-hard-time-keeping-my-faith-in-God-right-now,” phase, even though I am almost plummeting into your dark abyss as well. …yes, I will, take a chance on trusting you, even though I know you are a notorious gossip. …yes, I will, take you to and from the doctor for a minor procedure, even though it will take up my time and gas. In all of the above situations I keep Mother Theresa's thoughts close to my heart: People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful you will win some false friends and true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you’ve got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway. And of course I want to say thank you to my friends for being in my life: be you near or far… Thank you for your kindness to me when I know I don’t deserve it. Thank you for listening to me, even when I’m rambling. Thank you for helping me when I’m in a dark place. Thank you for being yourself and sharing yourself with me. Thank you for forgiving me when I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. Thanks for getting angry with me and ‘setting me straight.’ Thanks for communicating with me when I’d rather be silent. Thanks for loaning me money. Thanks for making me laugh. I appreciate all of you, my dear friends, and all the ways God has blessed me by putting you in my life. I can only hope and pray that I’ve been a good friend to you, and that we are friends for a long, long time. This also reminds me of a cliched, kind-of-cheezy view of friendships, but I'd be remiss if I didn't add it: (author unknown) People come into your life for a REASON, a SEASON, or a LIFETIME. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on. When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season. LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

God bless ALL friendships.