Do's (Dues?) while you are in a church singles group

Hello world-wide-web, Heavenly Father, bless all eyes reading my blog. Give them what they need, Lord. Help those who are seeking employment to find a sacred profession, one that gives You greater glory. For all those who are financially burdened, Lord, grant them abundance in the necessities: time with loved ones well spent, food on their table, a roof over their head. Lead them to know You better, Lord, through their difficulties and know that You are providing for them: through a caring friend, the smile of a stranger, a helping hand from an unexpected place. A special intention for health. There are a few people I know who have a sick loved one and are frightened; comfort them Lord, and let them know Your Peace. And for all single people everywhere, Lord, may they stay true to their convictions of faith, hope, love and charity. In Jesus' name. Amen. If you are single, then you've probably, at one point or another, signed up for a singles group of some kind. I joined a Catholic singles group a few years back and I was thinking about some of the lessons I learned from being 'in the group,' 'company,' 'troupe' and thought you might benefit from knowing some of those lessons. I am no expert, and am not attempting to be one. These are merely suggestions and thoughts to ponder. Please, if you have some suggestions you would like to share, post them in my comments section. I have plenty more to learn, I'm sure! Whatever group you are in, 'the group,' becomes it's own entity and there are several ways to integrate yourself beautifully while respecting the dynamics of the troop. First of all, go to have fun! Let it be something you do to enrich your experiences as you explore your faith with others like you. One of my many mistakes while becoming acquainted with everyone was evaluating the men, "He's cute. Is he seeing someone? He's flirting hard with that girl, are they going out? Why is he attending single events if he's dating someone?" I wasn't interested in knowing if he was a strong Catholic (i.e. attends mass regularly, etc). More's the pity too. I could have saved myself lots of problems by just praying and asking God to guide me to the person He wanted for me, while being friends with everyone at the same time. Which brings me to my second do: Become friends with Everyone. I was disappointed to find that other women in the group considered me competition, not a companion. If you are female, DO be friends with other women in the group. No one likes to admit it, but it happens: people get dumped. Well women, when a guy dumps you, you'll want some sisters backing you up and helping you transition nicely into the singles arena again. Guys do this naturally. They don't obsess over the break-up or contemplate what's going to happen if they run-into an 'ex'. They go back to attending the events they liked, and the other guys in the group are happy to see their friend return. Women need to copy this attitude. I can't leave the subject of being friends with everyone without telling you a HUGE, life-altering benefit of being friends with everyone: you cultivate relationships that last a lifetime. Some of my best friends are people I met 'in the group.' I truly cherish them. I wish this for you and your interactions as well. DO be open to Everyone. Go beyond looks: does he/she make you laugh? Are they kind? I know, I know, there's a cliche about judging book covers and all of that, but it's true. (Too bad cliches are used so often they lose their original impact.) DO think a guy is interested if he calls you and asks you on a date. Otherwise, the men you see and talk to at events are just friends. You can't tell whose dating whom at events, and if you keep an open and honest mind about these interactions, it will be for the greater good. DO stay away from gossipers in any place, but especially in church singles groups. There isn't ever a need to gossip, unless it's about dumb things celebrities do/say, and for a laugh about "Gee, I'm glad I'm not Tiger Woods." If you do happen to be in a group that's gossiping about someone, maybe even someone you know, walk away. Excuse yourself politely. People will always talk, but you have the choice of engaging, or not engaging, in that kind of behavior. And my last 'DO' - if you begin dating someone, or have a few dates with someone, or whatever the case is - be careful who you share information with about your dates/dating. I'm not saying you can't trust anyone in the group, but people do like to talk (see advice in above paragraph about gossipers) and the less that is said about your date/dating someone, the better. It's awful to overhear something about yourself, "Oh him/her? I heard they (insert private, personal information)...." Think of it that way when you are contemplating sharing something about your date. Respect yourself (this a MUST always) and respect others: their lifestyle, how their house looks, etc. Now, go out there and have a good time! Ask God to bless any and all your interactions within the singles group, and I assure you, He will. "I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa