My family's beloved Aunt Lupe died yesterday, in El Paso. Her body may still be on Earth, but I pray her soul is resting comfortably in the arms of Jesus. May her soul, and all the souls of the faithfully departed, rest in peace. In Jesus' name. Amen.
My mom has six siblings; besides her, two others are living: Tia Helina and Tia Luisa. (I use the present tense because I believe that even though a person dies, they are still family.) Both of my remaining Tias live in El Paso (EP), with the other siblings buried in various places throughout the city.
My Tia Lupe and Luisa are twins, and I called my Tia Luisa to ask her some questions about Lupe's life.
"Lupe met her husband, Mark, at a gas station, where he worked. Lupe wanted me to check him out and tell her what I thought, so she took me to meet him. I thought he was attractive. At one point, when Lupe went to the restroom I think, he asked me out on a date. I told him I was engaged, which I was, and showed him my ring."
"Did you ever tell Lupe?" I asked.
"No, I never did. I didn't want to hurt her feelings. But I encouraged her to keep going to the gas station (laughs). She did. They dated and we had a double wedding, with a reception at the Hilton." Both Tia's were twenty-two years old when they got married.
Tia Lupe has one daughter, Diana, two grandchildren, Jackie and Jr, and one great-grandchild, Anthony.
Diana asked everyone at the funeral to say a few words about my Tia. I was happy to hear the phrases, "always laughing, or making you laugh," used often.
My own memories of Tia Lupe aren't as sweet as everyone’s at the funeral, but death has a way of putting things in perspective. I feel I made my peace with Tia Lupe years ago, on my last visit to EP, earlier this decade. Who has time to rehash the past anyway, when the present is so full of good things? In 2002, I remember Tia Lupe and I chatted about various things, and I enjoyed her company. Being an adult has it's privileges. Past hurts are put in their proper place: the past; and if there's one thing my dad's death taught me, it's the power of forgiveness.
As a child, I didn't understand why my Tia Lupe said and did odd things. I was reminded over and over by Tia Luisa and Cousin Diana that, "Tia Lupe has a metal plate in her head and this causes her to behave in strange ways." I knew my Tia had had surgery, but nothing else. I asked my Tia Luisa about it.
"When Lupe was in her thirties, she began having problems with her eye sight. She went to a specialist and they found she had a benign tumor in the front of her brain. When they removed it, they put a metal plate where they had removed part of her skull."
My Tia Luisa's words reminded me of a story I got in trouble for repeating.
Besides the brain tumor surgery, my Tia Lupe had her breasts reduced; I don’t know how old she was when she had this done, but I was fourteen when she told me the story of her procedure.
"While I was lying on the operating table, and just before they put me to sleep, I noticed that the doctor’s eyes’ crossed when he saw my ample bosom! I think he was shocked at how big I was, and boy did I laugh inside myself at his expression!" My Tia and I both burst out laughing.
My Cousin Diana and Tia Luisa were very angry with me for narrating this story to Andrew, my fifteen-year-old neighbor. "Remember, Tia Lupe has a metal plate and it makes her say things she shouldn't!"
Rest in Peace, Tia, you'll be missed.
"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa
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