Guy-Girl-Friends

Hello friends,
Heavenly Father, bless all eyes reading this blog. Special intentions and prayers for the sick, the ailing, homeless, hungry, all those who have no one to pray for them, and for the unemployed. Prayers for atheists, agnostics, and the oppressed. For peace in our world, and in our families. For two personal prayers. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
     Recently, I hung out with my brother and a couple of his friends, both male. I usually have a good time with my brother's friends, and we have lots to talk about while enjoying each other's company. There was a great reason for our gathering, too: making sandwiches for the homeless.
     The organization hosting the event asked that volunteers bring certain items to the venue. I picked up the items on the morning of the adventure.
     All of us met at a central area, and then we drove to the place together.
     My bro's friends didn't bring anything*, and we were more than willing to share.
     I've been with my brother and his friends before, and sometimes they are 'on the prowl,' {for women} which is fine, because I can amuse myself while their nonsense happens, lol.

     I quickly realized, though, I shouldn't be with 'the guys,' on this particular outing, even though it was for an altruistic purpose. As I've already mentioned, guys on the prowl don't bother me, but disrespect for the woman in their group does bother me.
     After we were done making sandwiches, we went to a restaurant where one of the guys had a former gf. I jokingly remarked, "If we avoided all the places where you have a former gf, we might as well eat at home." Zing. The guy laughed good-naturally, but I knew he was a little embarrassed by my observation.
    My brother thought I was disrespectful to the guys also, so I'm acknowledging this may have been the case, and not make it seem like the guys were the only ones being untoward. However, I don't appreciate f bombs said in my presence, or the spelling out of women's body parts. When I spoke up about the words I didn't like, I was given an apology by, "...it would be ok if I were drinking and I said it." To which I still disagreed. Then it dawned on me: these guys didn't have a clue how to interact with me. I wasn't someone they were going to pick up, and they had no interest in being friends with me. I felt like they wanted to treat me like 'one of the guys,' especially with the foul language, but when I wasn't 'grateful' for being included in the 'boy's club,' the tone of the conversation changed.

     I also noted that these guys wanted to talk about the women in their lives, or the lack of women. It was fun to listen to their women woes; it's a rarity for a woman to hear men speak about their sorrows regarding relationships. I listened and gave advice, but didn't glean much else from the exchange, except that these men are pretty obvious about looking for sex. Now, I know some of you may say that is all men are looking for, and this is probably true, but as my friend Sherry Argov says, and I'm paraphrasing, "We {women} have to turn it into something else."

      I came to the conclusion that I can't hang out with these particular men again. I'm sad knowing this, because I feel like such a snob. But I'm not, I just expect respect.
     * I allude to this because I know the guys thought about bringing some things, but didn't. Nor did they thank my brother and me for our contribution. I get the impression these guys want to know what they can get, or are going to get, from any given situation; as opposed to seeing how they can add, or what they are bringing to the table. This 'taking' attitude isn't a good look for men. These aren't the kinds of men I'd consider dating, and I'm sure I'm 'too high maintance' for them, lol. Ladies, pay attention to these 'small details,' they tell a lot about a guy's character.



"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa