Be-happy-wherever you are

Hello world-wide-web, Heavenly Father, please help the Haitians. May cool heads, justice, compassion, and love prevail, and may any negative actions - violence or greed - fail. Strengthen the people of that small, poor country, Jesus. Give them fortitude, Lord, to be and do the best they can with what they have. In Jesus' name. Amen. If you haven't donated to help Haiti today, please do so by going to http://www.unicefusa.org. (Thanks MikeD for the website addy) I've decided to embrace my single life: no more on-line dating, no more single events, no more anything that is related to locating a mate. I'm done asking God, "Is this the one?" I have avoided the truth one too many times, but now I am finally willing to accept it: Be happy where you are in your life. And right now I am single. I am also happy single. I don't know if it's in God's plan for me to always be single, or just for a little while, but I am receptive to His will now more than ever. I have the sweetest friends; everyone is telling me I'll find someone, or that they know I'll get married someday. No one wants to be alone. Here's the definition for alone: being isolated from others. I know I am not alone. Loneliness is more of a feeling than a reality, I think. Here is the web's definition for loneliness: the state of being alone in solitary isolation. I am not lonely (or desperate, he he). Besides, single just means one. ;) Although, and I don't like admitting this, but there are times when I am so caught up in finding a lover that I don't pay as much attention to Jesus, or His blessings. I exclude God's counsel with regard to my love life! How ironic, since Jesus is the only person I know who has my best interest at heart and will most certainly, if it's His will, find me the perfect mate. It's time for my thinking to change. Jesus is in charge of my love life now. It's ALL in His hands. This may sound corny, but it's true: my significant other is Jesus. (BTW, I am NOT contemplating becoming a nun, lol. I pray Jesus wants me as an example to others through my living single.) When I keep my sights on Him, all else falls into place. This is true for whatever is going on in my life. Remaining single is an option; being with a mate is an alternative. Ultimately, love is the preference. Thankfully, love comes in many forms! Lovers, heck, even friends will enter and leave my life, but Jesus is Forever. When friends, and God willing eventually a lover, stay in my life, Jesus' words and actions will continue to be my focus. My decision is not a pessimistic pronouncement, or the result of awful dates, or anger towards men. When I made this decision, I felt my soul peacefully recline in the warmth of my Real Skin. At long last I'm beginning to see myself the way I think Jesus sees me. I know some of my friends might think, "Uh-oh, Deb's going to 'let herself go,' or 'get fat and lazy,'" but single me has always been health conscious and I do my best to dress for whatever event I'm attending. I don't see that changing anytime soon, if ever. When the blunt force of the fact that I may be single for the rest of my life hits me in the face, a poignant and comforting story a priest once told at a retreat comes to mind. It's about a little girl who was afraid of the dark. She woke her parents up and as her mom walks her back to her room, her mom says, "Honey, there's no need to be afraid. Jesus is here with you." The little girl responded, "I know, but I needed someone with skin." So here's to all my family and friends who love me: Thank you for being 'Jesus with skin': being single is amazing and fun because you all are in my life. Long may we remain friends. God bless you!!! "I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa

Do's (Dues?) while you are in a church singles group

Hello world-wide-web, Heavenly Father, bless all eyes reading my blog. Give them what they need, Lord. Help those who are seeking employment to find a sacred profession, one that gives You greater glory. For all those who are financially burdened, Lord, grant them abundance in the necessities: time with loved ones well spent, food on their table, a roof over their head. Lead them to know You better, Lord, through their difficulties and know that You are providing for them: through a caring friend, the smile of a stranger, a helping hand from an unexpected place. A special intention for health. There are a few people I know who have a sick loved one and are frightened; comfort them Lord, and let them know Your Peace. And for all single people everywhere, Lord, may they stay true to their convictions of faith, hope, love and charity. In Jesus' name. Amen. If you are single, then you've probably, at one point or another, signed up for a singles group of some kind. I joined a Catholic singles group a few years back and I was thinking about some of the lessons I learned from being 'in the group,' 'company,' 'troupe' and thought you might benefit from knowing some of those lessons. I am no expert, and am not attempting to be one. These are merely suggestions and thoughts to ponder. Please, if you have some suggestions you would like to share, post them in my comments section. I have plenty more to learn, I'm sure! Whatever group you are in, 'the group,' becomes it's own entity and there are several ways to integrate yourself beautifully while respecting the dynamics of the troop. First of all, go to have fun! Let it be something you do to enrich your experiences as you explore your faith with others like you. One of my many mistakes while becoming acquainted with everyone was evaluating the men, "He's cute. Is he seeing someone? He's flirting hard with that girl, are they going out? Why is he attending single events if he's dating someone?" I wasn't interested in knowing if he was a strong Catholic (i.e. attends mass regularly, etc). More's the pity too. I could have saved myself lots of problems by just praying and asking God to guide me to the person He wanted for me, while being friends with everyone at the same time. Which brings me to my second do: Become friends with Everyone. I was disappointed to find that other women in the group considered me competition, not a companion. If you are female, DO be friends with other women in the group. No one likes to admit it, but it happens: people get dumped. Well women, when a guy dumps you, you'll want some sisters backing you up and helping you transition nicely into the singles arena again. Guys do this naturally. They don't obsess over the break-up or contemplate what's going to happen if they run-into an 'ex'. They go back to attending the events they liked, and the other guys in the group are happy to see their friend return. Women need to copy this attitude. I can't leave the subject of being friends with everyone without telling you a HUGE, life-altering benefit of being friends with everyone: you cultivate relationships that last a lifetime. Some of my best friends are people I met 'in the group.' I truly cherish them. I wish this for you and your interactions as well. DO be open to Everyone. Go beyond looks: does he/she make you laugh? Are they kind? I know, I know, there's a cliche about judging book covers and all of that, but it's true. (Too bad cliches are used so often they lose their original impact.) DO think a guy is interested if he calls you and asks you on a date. Otherwise, the men you see and talk to at events are just friends. You can't tell whose dating whom at events, and if you keep an open and honest mind about these interactions, it will be for the greater good. DO stay away from gossipers in any place, but especially in church singles groups. There isn't ever a need to gossip, unless it's about dumb things celebrities do/say, and for a laugh about "Gee, I'm glad I'm not Tiger Woods." If you do happen to be in a group that's gossiping about someone, maybe even someone you know, walk away. Excuse yourself politely. People will always talk, but you have the choice of engaging, or not engaging, in that kind of behavior. And my last 'DO' - if you begin dating someone, or have a few dates with someone, or whatever the case is - be careful who you share information with about your dates/dating. I'm not saying you can't trust anyone in the group, but people do like to talk (see advice in above paragraph about gossipers) and the less that is said about your date/dating someone, the better. It's awful to overhear something about yourself, "Oh him/her? I heard they (insert private, personal information)...." Think of it that way when you are contemplating sharing something about your date. Respect yourself (this a MUST always) and respect others: their lifestyle, how their house looks, etc. Now, go out there and have a good time! Ask God to bless any and all your interactions within the singles group, and I assure you, He will. "I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa

Bring it 2010 - gently, yet firmly

Hello world-wide-web, Heavenly Father, as I begin a new year of blogging, please bless and guide my words to help and encourage all those seeking You but happen to read my blog. I'm praying for those seeking employment, or a better financial situation for their lives and for any other intentions they may ask for in their hearts, Lord. In Jesus' name. Amen. As I was getting ready for the day, I started to think about all the things I'd like to accomplish this New Year; of course all the usual things are on 'the list.' I won't tell you what they are, because you probably have them on your 'list' as well. But then I started to think about how I will feel if this year doesn't turn out quite like I expect, so here are some things I want to remember, to keep me afloat in those times of discouragement as I live my life, this year and every year: 1. "Trust in Him and He will help you." Sirach2:6 2. KISS: Keep It Simple Stupid; the axiom I learned in college Chemistry. 3. I serve the Father of Service and not the father of money. 4. Use the wonderful sense of humor God has blessed me with to view situtations in a light-hearted manner. 5. "Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song." Pope John 2 6. Every day is a new year. 7. "Jesus said love one another. He didn't say love the whole world." Mother Theresa 8. Take my time, with everything. 9. God is with me, always. I am keeping my faith and optimism that this year will be the best year yet. And if it isn't? Then it was still a pretty good year. When I look at situations in my life that were difficult, I realize now what was happening: my character, for good or for bad, was forged. How we handle difficult situations is a testament to what we are made of, and I know we are made in the image and likeness of God, so only Good will shine forth. Considering that God is always close, in my mind and in my heart, I will always have the strength and courage I need to face challenges. I pray this for you as well. I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world. Mother Theresa