God's lioness: 05/01/2014

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Hercules, let me explain

Heavenly Father,
Bless and guide all eyes reading this blog. May we always know you are with us, walking each day of our journey with us. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Dear Hercules,
We had a nice 2nd date

and we both agreed we had a good time.

I saw this as a great sign - I was looking forward to texts and our next meet-up...
As is your way, you tell me what you are doing over the weekend.
This let me know we weren't going to have time to see each other.
And then,

for

days.

Your birthday was on Thursday.
I thought I'd treat you to a dessert at

on Wednesday, since I know you have your daughter on Thursdays and this particular weekend.
You agreed.
Another meet-up - with me initiating.
This was the second meet-up I inaugurated.
I was

Uh-oh, this is when
Thinking began...
as a feeling, really...
a tiny disturbance in the recesses of my heart.
Something was askew with my invitation.
Why was my request bothering me, niggling away at my brain while I worked?
Finally, when I had a moment to gather the

(scattered sparrows)

that were my thoughts, I asked myself,
"What is it?!"
And with a sound like clapping thunder,
the answer welled up
and

spewed at me,

as if the thoughts were there all along, and (the thoughts were) disgruntled
because I'd ignored the obvious in my haste to celebrate your bday.
If I took you to

after

days

between us...

yes, yes, the encouraging

were
piling on top of each other...
I was -

*rewarding bad behavior.*

And gratifying bad behavior is a

I was sad to cancel, but being true to myself meant more than a dessert with you on your birthday.

I'm sure this made no sense to you, since I didn't explain this very well in my text to you, mores the pity.
But I'm writing this blog in the hopes you will