I trust in your mercy & forgiveness. Amen.
I think God sends us these situations to see how "Christ-like" we really are, and in this particular case, I didn't do well by Him. (Hmm, I know this has been the subject of other blogs I've written, lol. And I know this won't be the last time I write about this either, as I am in constant need of God's Grace and Mercy.)
I wish I could make the circumstances better, but alas, just like the drummer boy who only had his tiny drum to play for Jesus, I only have my "small" writing to offer as penance.
I pray it serves His Will.
Unfortunately, dear reader, you will need to remain outside of certain details of the sentences below, as this blog is particular to one person, but I'm posting it as an atonement.
I do, however, pray you will be touched by God's
always, in difficult and in manageable positions.Dear friend,
I call you friend because we began as friends, and in my heart, we remain friends.
I'm not sure when or where our friendship/professional relationship became derailed, and to waste good energy enumerating these reasons subtracts from the spirit of why this blog is written: which is to focus on the positive and move forward.
I wanted a good friendship;
or at least a satisfying professional relationship;
I saw us as the "dream team."
We were going to take on the world and....win!!
We could do that, but it needed to happen with us working together.
I know I played a part in things going wrong.
But I was not alone in this relationship.
As much as I want to take ALL of the blame for the hurting & the negativity, and I do want to take that on, because maybe then I can redeem myself, but that is not the reality of our plight;
besides, only God can redeem.
Again, I'm not writing this blog to say,
"Well this is where you did me wrong--"
"I did you wrong when I --"
or
"If you hadn't done this, this wouldn't have happened--"
"I did you wrong when -- "
No;
This blog is about how much I respect you.
This blog is about how I think you are excellent at your job.
This blog is about how I learned a great deal from you;
I mourn the loss of opportunities to learn and grow more through our interactions.
I enjoyed your sense of humor, and laughing with you at some of the things that were serious (absurd, really), that we had to laugh at, or we'd cry, and/or become despondent.
You can say "poop," way easier than I ever can!!! I'm smiling now as I recall this particular conversation.
And the tales of your dog! Hilarious!
I remember your helpfulness, always thinking of two, rather than one, and me appreciating your aid beyond words or actions and unable to express my gratitude.
I didn't, however, remember some of the things you told me I needed to do, or how to handle certain cases, and you had to tell me again, or several times. I know that must have gotten old & quickly!
Okay, so I am not a quick study, lol.
I think I admitted this too quickly, lol, but it's an accurate statement.
But even for all the "mess" we found ourselves in, I will speak highly of you to whomever asks.
I never meant for things to take the path they did.
Never.
I don't think I'll ever have the convenience of telling you these thoughts in person, but I've got to get this out of me, because it's the truth and a wise man once said,
"the truth shall set you free."
So, I'm setting myself free from the adverse entanglement that thinks it has a permanent hold on us at this moment.
I am sad that our friendship/working relationship didn't work out well, but glad it did end with us talking to each other.
On some level I hope you can forgive me.
And I know you aren't asking me for forgiveness, but I forgive you.
God bless you.
XO,
Deb
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