Judge Not

Hello www, I pray this blog finds everyone well and happy. “I like everyone until I get to know them.” My friend Silvia and I were talking on the phone last month, and Silvia was telling me about her good friend Sherry. “Sherry has a great husband and yet she’s cheating on him. The man she’s cheating on her husband with, Matthew, is nice enough, but he’s married too. And sometimes they have sex in the back of Matthew’s car! Sherry calls Matthew from my house. Sherry’s husband recently found out about her affair with Matthew, and as a consequence Sherry and her husband are going to marriage counseling. Matthew’s been calling me to find out how Sherry’s doing.” I just listened to Silvia, but I secretly hoped I wouldn’t be introduced to this particular friend. Well not too long after Silvia told me about Sherry, I visited Silvia, and since she lives out of town, I stayed for the weekend. Silvia mentioned a meeting between Sherry and me on Friday. I said nothing. Saturday flew by and I still hadn’t met Sherry. That was fine by me. Sunday arrives. I am 45 minutes away from leaving. Sherry has called and told Silvia she’s coming over. Silvia has a quick errand to run. I offer to stay with Silvia’s eight-year-old daughter, Adriana, while Silvia runs the errand. The phone rings, the answering machine picks up, and Sherry’s voice fills the house, “Silvia, I’m at your house. Where are you?” Adriana and I are playing on the computer. Adriana wants a glass of milk. When we both go to the kitchen to get it, we see someone at the front door, looking inside the house from the side window. Adriana tells me, “Lisa, its Sherry, mom’s friend.” “I know, Adriana, but your mom isn’t here and I don’t feel comfortable letting her in.” “But she’s seen us, and she’s mom’s friend. Can I at least tell her where my mom went?” “Sure, honey, just don’t let her in.” Adriana explains to Sherry where Silvia is as Sherry gently pushes Adriana out of her way saying, “I want to meet your Aunt.” “Cousin,” I correct her from the kitchen. “Cousin. Hi there, I’m Sherry.” I stiffen and don’t respond to the hug she gives me. Sherry gushes, “I’ve heard so much about you.” Curtly I say, “And I’ve heard so much about you too!” “Lisa, come and play with me,” Adriana calls from the computer room. Without excusing myself, I ‘walk’ to the computer room. “Oh hi, Russ.” Sherry is on the phone. Suddenly, thoughts of Jesus enter my head. “Who did Jesus spend time with? Serious sinners. Tax collectors and prostitutes. Who am I? And who am I to judge?” I gather my things and get ready to walk to my car. On the way out the door, I sincerely express regret to Sherry, “My profuse apologies for my chilly reception; I wasn’t comfortable letting someone in when Silvia isn’t here.” Very graciously Sherry answers, “Oh that’s okay. No problem.” . . . There are some people I don’t want to meet to found out if I’ll like them or not. . . . Saint Catherine of Sienna asked Jesus, “Why shouldn’t we judge people?” Jesus’ reply, “It’s not that you shouldn’t judge, it’s that you can’t. You don’t know what’s in a person’s heart.” I still feel bad I was spiteful towards Sherry, even today. Although, if I hadn’t experienced the dealings with Sherry I did, I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to examine why I judge and when I am cruelly judging. When I am being hurtful in my sentiments toward someone, I remind myself of Jesus’ example. . . . Will You judge me for how I behaved? Probably. But that doesn’t bother me nearly as much as how I judge myself. . . . BTW: My friend Silvia was Not Happy, of course, about my behavior to her friend, even though I did sincerely apologize to Sherry. I asked for forgiveness from Silvia as well; Silvia accepted my apology, but has decided it be best we take a break from talking to each other. . . . As for Sherry: I pray for her, her marriage, and her children on a regular basis. . . . TOTAL SIDE THOUGHT: should Silvia be talking about her good friend like this in the first place?