Heart of the Matter

Hello friends,
       Lord, thank you for creating courageous men and women who risk their lives in the name of justice. In Jesus' name. Amen
      "Speak Lord, your servant is listening."
       This is what I pray before I read the daily scripture readings for the day. I'm glad I was listening today. I felt like I was Lydia, the woman in the first reading. (You'll need to read this passage to understand what I mean: Acts16:11-15.)
      Then, this morning at mass, Fr. Alfonse gives me the ultimate God-wink when he said, "In today's Acts of the Apostle's, Luke tells us a personal story about something that happened to him and the other disciples. It's important to write things down: the good, the bad, and the ugly." Thanks, God, for 'okaying' this message, lol. Love you!
(Prelude: Forgive me if this blog gives you whip lash, he he, because I am jumping from topic to topic; I am doing my best to make it coherent, but I also like to write from a stream of consciousness perspective too, so things may seem unrelated, but hopefully I can tie them together...)
      I am only the best person I can be "through Christ who strengthens me."
     "Forgiveness."
     As I think about what I want to say, and how to say it, one word from the Don Henley song, "Heart of the Matter," comes to mind.
       "Forgiveness."
        And in the bible, how often are you to forgive your brethren? "Seventy times seventy times."
       Then an image from the movie Thor yesterday leaps to mind, Thor's hammer flying through the air into Thor's hand. Thor's hammer came to him when Thor realized he needed to lay down his life for his friends. Thor was ready and willing to make the ultimate sacrifice. Notice, too, Thor couldn't retrieve the hammer, he had to earn it.

      We have to humble ourselves before our problems and let God work through us, with His hammer, to resolve them.
      Fr. Alfonse often mentions how great love comes with great sacrifice.
     Jesus Christ laid down His life for us, and we are asked to lay down our lives, our vulnerabilities, our weaknesses, and our egos, for those we care about in our lives. It is only then that Christ will bestow His grace, His truth, and His strength to enable us to do what we need to do for those in our lives.
        Everyone has been blessed with some wonderful talents, and one of the talents I feel God has bestowed on me, is that of healer. I find that people open up to me fairly easily, and that God's grace allows me to be available, completely available, to people's needs, and their sufferings. I always want to honor people's pain and where they are in life; to become Christ-like in that sense.
       But I've got to be wise in the use of my healing!
      When I was younger, I thought my purpose was to heal family members, or those I was dating: the drug addict, the alcoholic; that my partner needed to have some sort of defect I could fix, even though they didn't want, or think, they needed healing! Woops. They were fine in their pain, but I wasn't. Nowadays, I know God is the true healer, and that on the occasions people seek me for consolation, it's the Christ in me they seek. I am only the lowly vessel He uses to heal others. All glory and honor goes to God.
        There is a friend who is going through a terribly rough time right now. I keep them in my prayers...and I know it is not for me to heal this person. Thank goodness they aren't asking me to heal them either - as if I could. Recently this person was disrespectful to me, and I asked God what I could learn from the hurt of this disrespect, and here's what I learned, nothing new or unusual: I've got to forgive them. I don't excuse the behavior, but I do forgive them.
      When I googled the words to the Don Henley tune, and then listened to it on CD, I realized the only part of this song I'm to own is "forgiveness."
The rest is for them:
I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone
She said you found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck,
And the struggles we went through
And how I lost me and you lost you
What are these voices outside love's open door
Make us throw off our contentment
And beg for something more?

I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

These times are so uncertain
There's a yearning undefined
...People filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age
The trust and self-assurance that can lead to happiness
They're the very things we kill, I guess
Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms
And the work I put between us,
Doesn't keep me warm

I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you, Baby
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But everything changes
And my friends seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

There are people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down and hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; life goes on
You keep carrin' that anger, it'll eat you inside

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
Because the flesh will get weak
And the ashes will scatter
So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore


"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa