It's the Reve effect - sometimes this happens

Hello friends,
            Heavenly Father, this is a special prayer for all marriages everywhere, but esp for BD's. Let Your Will be done, Lord. Your Will. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
            A decade ago, I promised myself I’d visit a new city in the U.S. every year. So in 2001, mid-July, I was in New Orleans with my good friend Roger.  On our first evening in the city, Roger and I scanned the brochures we confiscated from a restaurant to see what entertainment N.O. was offering. 
            My eyes fell on “Haunted History Tours!” (HHT’s!).  

At nine o’clock, we joined a large crowd of people in front of a voo-doo shop. Two men were on a stage in front of the store. One of the men was rallying the crowd to take his HHT. He succeeded, as half the group left with him.

The other cajoling young man, who boldly told us his name was Reve, was dressed like French aristocracy, and somehow his shoulder-length brown hair complimented his attire. He was handsome; six feet tall, with high check bones and an angular face. Something about Reve’s demeanor, passion, and animation resonated with my own sense of adventure.

As we began the tour, I noticed Reve slowing his pace, as if he were going to make a comment to me, and glancing at me often.

I was mystified by him.

At the drinkery where the tour took a break, I didn’t have to look across the bar to know Reve was staring at me intently – his gaze carried heat.

“Oh! You all are friends!” Reve suddenly blurts out as he walks around the bar and joins Roger and me. Reve and I immediately fall into rather lively chatter about the tour, and N.O. in general.

After the tour, and after Roger has given Reve a tip, he informs me, “Reve is having a drink with us.”

“Oh?” I grin innocently.

We walk with Reve to a pirate-decorated hang-out. As Reve’s face flirtatiously floats dangerously close to mine, I wonder how Reve thinks this evening will end. I bet our stories don’t match.

Reve grabs my hand and pulls me into what appears to be a small prison cell, complete with bars, but no doors. He and I snugly sit next to each other, but as Reve leans in for a kiss, I move across from him. His left eyebrow arches.

I laugh at him light-heartedly.

At the end of the evening, Reve and I exchange phone numbers and promise to keep in touch.

It’s Fall before I see him again.

Roger returns with me to N.O., and Reve picks us up from the airport.

The wonderful rapport between Reve and I re-connects us easily.

Reve tells us that he doesn’t have the job with the HHT company anymore, and that he has been looking for work.

            Before we arrive at Reve’s house, he takes us on a four-wheeling escapade through a dirt parking lot. Pure exhilaration! We are all laughing as the truck jerks and shakes us through the rough motions of Reve’s handling.

            Reve’s house has two lamps light by fire on either side of the door. It gives the house a dreamy feel. Roger and I unpack.

            Reve makes us Jambalaya for lunch. His house is a wreck: an enormous amount of dishes are in the sink, and the kitchen is in general disarray. My heart is moved with compassion as I see evidence of depression in other corners of the house.

            Roger and I begin cleaning up the place for Reve, mostly focusing on the kitchen. Reve is in his room tidying up, and playing music while each of us cleans. At one point, when I’m approaching Reve’s room to ask him where a particular Tupperware container goes, I abruptly hear the first few notes of a song by my favorite band. When I reach Reve’s room, piqued with anticipation, he smiles broadly at me. I am pleased he remembered, from just a few conversations between us, that this is my preferred band.

            Roger and I want to go to the French Quarter for the evening, but this isn’t such a great idea to Reve.

            “Since leaving my job, I’d rather avoid some of the people down there.”

            Roger is okay going by himself to the FQ, while Reve and I go to a private party.

            Upon dropping Roger off, Reve declares, “I know why you brought Roger.”

            “Really, why?”

            “So that you and I don’t ‘do’ anything.” He smirks.

            Silence.

            “Hey, would you like to drive my truck?”

            “What?!...No.”

            Too late. Reve is already in an empty lot, out of the truck, and waiting beside the passenger’s side seat for me to get into the driver’s seat.

            Reve’s truck is a beast! It is an 80’s Ford Bronco, which is huge! I am fairly tall, but behind the wheel of this vehicle I felt like a gnome. Reve thoroughly enjoys my discomfort, but I determinedly handle the creature with grace and recklessness.

It’s time to pick Roger up from the FQ. Reve holds my hand as we drive downtown.

            Reve has Roger drive us home, and then he settles in next to me in the back seat. I nestle my head on Reve’s shoulder, and soon I am sleepily leaning on him; he wraps an arm around me.

            Back at Reve’s house, when we’re getting ready for bed, I inform Reve, “I saw a spare bedroom beside the kitchen; I’ll be sleeping there tonight.” Reve looks at me curiously. I leave the room, change into my pajamas, and climb into bed. Ten minutes later, I feel Reve crawl into bed with me. Thankfully, he is a complete gentleman, and we fall asleep fairly quickly.

            In the morning, Reve states, “I remembered the reason I don’t sleep in this room. This bed is awful!”

            At the airport the next morning, as Reve grabs my suitcase from the truck, I wrap myself tighter in my long, black cloak of a coat, pulling the hood over my head as tiny snowflakes begin to fall.

            Reve and I hug our good-byes.

            It was the last time I ever saw him.

"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa

EOY - End of the School Year

Hello friends,
      May God bless each and every person reading this sentence! In Jesus' Name. Amen
For anyone who has ever wondered what a teacher feels and thinks at the end of the school year, here is a tiny, minuscule, peek into this particular elementary teacher's world:
I usually don't have time to reflect on the year until the week before the end of the school year and that's when I started this blog - a week ago.
My reminiscing begins with the first time I met the students.
A class of 21 students was being divided and on the afternoon I met my eleven students, they practically raced into the room, carrying their desks and things, flanked by their current teacher. They were wild-eyed, rowdy, and ready to play. Laughter and giggles filled the room. They noisily put their desks down, not really taking notice of me, but looking around the room. My initial response was to tell them to be quiet and sit down, but they were still with their former teacher, and I didn't want to override her authority. She spoke to them sharply, but they still didn't seem to calm down, and then they were gone. I felt like a few tornadoes had visited the room.
In that first week the students were with  me, I was stern, and didn't accept any kind of silliness from them. Poor things. They had looks of horror on their faces as they realized "nutty" classroom time was done.
The hard work began.
Two of my students, a boy, MK and a girl, PS, hated Math.
One of the students, a girl, GD, shut down when she was frustrated by anything, in addition to being a huge grouch in the mornings.
Three of  my boys, AS, MC, and HA, were highly immature and lazy.
Fortunately I had four girls, DP, RC, SB, DJ, and one boy, AE, who were bright, and only needed minimum guidance. They learned well by themselves, and this enabled me to work one-on-one with the harder to reach children.
Before Christmas break (yes, I said Christmas), one of my students, PS, moved to another school. Darn it too, she was just starting to work for me.
Except for the five that were independent learners, I kept the others in after school tutoring Mon, Tues, and Tr.; I was skeptical about how much the tutoring was helping...
Right around Spring Break, my boys began to have problems at recess: fighting. As a punishment, one received out of school suspension; the others had no recess for a week. Ugh. One of the boys, EA, was then transferred to another class.
I was down to nine students.
I started having lunch with my students: boys on one day, girls on another. We began to bond on a personal level. I found out about their home lives. Well, the girls talked about their home lives, the boys were obsessed with pirahnas, lol. Although, one boy, HA, would occassionaly ask me a question about me; he wanted to know what I did on the weekends, etc.
This small act, having lunch with the students, took care of the fighting at recess, in addition to making us all closer.
Okay, so they took the state exams.
Out of the nine, 7 passed the Reading exam. Two were commended. (100%)
Out of the nine, 8 passed the Math exam. Again, two were commended.
All in all, it was a mixed year, but a good one.
GD, the little girl who didn't like Math, who hardly ever turned in her homework, or kept up with any papers, gave me the following note on the next to the last day of school:
At the top was written, "G's information about summer."
"Ms. Bush, I will miss you very much. I was going to tell you what an adventure I'm going to have on summer. I am going to Mexico with my cousins, and my tia, then to my cousin's house. I will really miss you. I can't stay away from you, but I will still remember you, in my hart. it's like your an angle. I will really miss you. may god bless you.
Sincerely, G"
This made the year fantastic. (GD drew the following 'angle' on her note to me):

"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa

Heart of the Matter

Hello friends,
       Lord, thank you for creating courageous men and women who risk their lives in the name of justice. In Jesus' name. Amen
      "Speak Lord, your servant is listening."
       This is what I pray before I read the daily scripture readings for the day. I'm glad I was listening today. I felt like I was Lydia, the woman in the first reading. (You'll need to read this passage to understand what I mean: Acts16:11-15.)
      Then, this morning at mass, Fr. Alfonse gives me the ultimate God-wink when he said, "In today's Acts of the Apostle's, Luke tells us a personal story about something that happened to him and the other disciples. It's important to write things down: the good, the bad, and the ugly." Thanks, God, for 'okaying' this message, lol. Love you!
(Prelude: Forgive me if this blog gives you whip lash, he he, because I am jumping from topic to topic; I am doing my best to make it coherent, but I also like to write from a stream of consciousness perspective too, so things may seem unrelated, but hopefully I can tie them together...)
      I am only the best person I can be "through Christ who strengthens me."
     "Forgiveness."
     As I think about what I want to say, and how to say it, one word from the Don Henley song, "Heart of the Matter," comes to mind.
       "Forgiveness."
        And in the bible, how often are you to forgive your brethren? "Seventy times seventy times."
       Then an image from the movie Thor yesterday leaps to mind, Thor's hammer flying through the air into Thor's hand. Thor's hammer came to him when Thor realized he needed to lay down his life for his friends. Thor was ready and willing to make the ultimate sacrifice. Notice, too, Thor couldn't retrieve the hammer, he had to earn it.

      We have to humble ourselves before our problems and let God work through us, with His hammer, to resolve them.
      Fr. Alfonse often mentions how great love comes with great sacrifice.
     Jesus Christ laid down His life for us, and we are asked to lay down our lives, our vulnerabilities, our weaknesses, and our egos, for those we care about in our lives. It is only then that Christ will bestow His grace, His truth, and His strength to enable us to do what we need to do for those in our lives.
        Everyone has been blessed with some wonderful talents, and one of the talents I feel God has bestowed on me, is that of healer. I find that people open up to me fairly easily, and that God's grace allows me to be available, completely available, to people's needs, and their sufferings. I always want to honor people's pain and where they are in life; to become Christ-like in that sense.
       But I've got to be wise in the use of my healing!
      When I was younger, I thought my purpose was to heal family members, or those I was dating: the drug addict, the alcoholic; that my partner needed to have some sort of defect I could fix, even though they didn't want, or think, they needed healing! Woops. They were fine in their pain, but I wasn't. Nowadays, I know God is the true healer, and that on the occasions people seek me for consolation, it's the Christ in me they seek. I am only the lowly vessel He uses to heal others. All glory and honor goes to God.
        There is a friend who is going through a terribly rough time right now. I keep them in my prayers...and I know it is not for me to heal this person. Thank goodness they aren't asking me to heal them either - as if I could. Recently this person was disrespectful to me, and I asked God what I could learn from the hurt of this disrespect, and here's what I learned, nothing new or unusual: I've got to forgive them. I don't excuse the behavior, but I do forgive them.
      When I googled the words to the Don Henley tune, and then listened to it on CD, I realized the only part of this song I'm to own is "forgiveness."
The rest is for them:
I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone
She said you found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck,
And the struggles we went through
And how I lost me and you lost you
What are these voices outside love's open door
Make us throw off our contentment
And beg for something more?

I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

These times are so uncertain
There's a yearning undefined
...People filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age
The trust and self-assurance that can lead to happiness
They're the very things we kill, I guess
Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms
And the work I put between us,
Doesn't keep me warm

I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you, Baby
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But everything changes
And my friends seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

There are people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down and hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; life goes on
You keep carrin' that anger, it'll eat you inside

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
Because the flesh will get weak
And the ashes will scatter
So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore


"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa

We be trippin'

Hello friends,
     Thank you Lord for safe travel. May God bless you and keep you safe, dear reader. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

My trip began with a flight to DC, then a plane to CT, where my friend Cy is going to school. The reason for this excursion? She is returning to Tx for the summer and needed someone to drive her back to Texas (where she resides); she asked me to accompany her on her trip.

The house where Cy is staying is amazing, so I had to take photographs to share with you. This was the view from the kitchen window. The house is three stories: an upper floor, a middle floor, and then a basement that is a complete living area; it has a washer/drier, refrigerator, two full bathrooms, two bedrooms, and a pool table. (not shown) 

The majority of my photos are from the middle level of the house, because that's where the best lighting happened to occur.

There are plenty of windows showing off the spectacular landscape, and this is the view directly across from the kitchen window. You are seeing correctly: that's a deck.

This is the other side of the deck, on the outside. When's the party, Cy???

The stream that runs behind the house was hard to take pictures of, but you could hear it. This pathway leads you to the stream and the huge backyard.

 

Cy was packed and we were ready to go!

Just a couple of welcome signs from the states we crossed on our way back to Texas:

 

Upon entering Tennessee from the East, we saw this:

This was the view from our hotel. I took this picture because I was amused by how many "World Famous," signs I saw in Tennessee.

We arrived in Nashville around 8ish p.m. We didn't get to Broadway, a street similar to Austin's Sixth Street, but Austin has many more bars, until 11ish.

Here are some of the sights and sounds of our excursion into the night life:

I don't know what this building was, but I like the architechture. My guess is that it's a courthouse of some sort.

It is an unspoken rule that if you come across anything Jimmy Buffet, you must take a photo.

Cy took this photo on Saturday afternoon. I am standing outside of the Memphis Welcome Center. Notice there's a guitar for the 'i' in Memphis? Anywhere you looked and saw the word "Memphis," it has a guitar for the 'i'. ;)

Inside the Welcome Center, which is right behind where I'm standing, you'll find him:

And almost directly behind Elvis is:

These photos are just some of the black and white photos inside the Welcome Center that I thought were cool:

Aretha Franklin

Yes, this IS Ray Charles.

A super young Elvis and B.B. King.

It's always wonderful to travel within the United States. And yes, there is also tremendous benefit in traveling abroad; however, I think Americans don't realize the real treasures and important historic places we have...and many people don't take the time to find out what is right here in our very own backyard. More's the pity too, because it's worth seeing.

"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa

God winks at us

Hello friends,
God is always speaking to us, if only we would slow down and listen. And, "if today you hear His voice, harden not your hearts." In Jesus' name, Amen.
It is with great pleasure I want to tell you about a book I'm reading, entitled, "God winks."
It is with great displeasure I tell you that there are people (you may even be one of those people) who think God doesn't answer prayers.
However, IF (and I realize this IF is ginormous for some readers) IF you are open to His "speaking," what I call 'winking' for the purpose of this blog, then you will "see" that God does indeed respond to our prayers. What does a wink from God mean? It's a confirmation of your request, a "yes" of sorts.
Let me give you an example:
When I was discerning whether it was God's will for me to become a school counselor, I had the following dream.
I am in a strange, grimy, never-seen-before, city. I am walking along the street, when I come upon a police car, with it's lights flashing. Another police car is parked diagonally to the first car. There is a young man in the middle of the "V" the officer's cars are making.
He has a gun and is threatening to shoot himself.
I walk through the cars, toward the young man, when a policeman approaches me, "Ma'am, I'm going to need you to step back, please."
"I'm a counselor, I can help him." I confidently reply.
These words seem to appease the man in the blue uniform, as he moves aside to let me through.
Somehow, by the grace of God I'm sure, I'm able to talk the gentleman out of killing himself, and get him some help.
I consider this dream a God wink. A confirmation on the direction of  my career.
Another 'test' and God wink confirmation I received that solidified this first yes to me, was when I said to God, "If this is Your will, then financially You'll need to show me the way." Because when I looked at my finances closely, I laughed. No extra cash there!
But my income tax was due shortly...And once I did my taxes, I was able to afford three semesters! Now I felt that God wasn't just winking at me, He was Blinking, lol.
Then I was blessed with a summer school job. This money was for books and any other school supplies I needed. I was even able to afford a laptop - paid in full with currency. Thanks God.
Please consider this: have you ever had a petition or some heavy question on your mind, and then bam!, you feel like a family member, or a friend, or a stranger, in some random conversation you are having with them, maybe they do something, and you have an answer to your heavy question? God has winked at you, my friend. Keep the faith.

"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa

The Servant Song

Hello friends,
     Heavenly Father you gave us the best example of motherly love in our Blessed Mother and her relationship with Christ; a "Love beyond all telling." Please continue to bless and guide all your children, wherever they may be, in Jesus' Name. Amen.
Mother's Day reminds me of many things, but the most pertinent to the present moment is that I'm not a mom, lol.
But mother's remind me of the best example of God's love for us. So for all the mom's reading this, I dedicate this song, which I intend to have as a wedding song between my beloved and me,
Lord of the Rings, Servant Song
Please note: Lord of the Rings is one of my all-time favorite movies, and to have this edifying song playing to some of the most endearing scenes from the movie, is an incredible find and a "God wink." (In another blog I will discuss what a "God wink," is...stay tuned!)
God bless you, my friends, today and always. Amen!
Here are the lyrics to this precious song, just in case you're wondering:

Friend, Let me be your servant Let me be as Christ to you Pray that I may have the grace To let you be my servant, too We are pilgrims on a journey We are friends on the road We are here to help each other Walk the mile and bear the load I will hold the Christlight for you In the night-time of your fear I will hold my hand out to you Speak the peace you long to hear I will weep when you are weeping When you laugh I'll laugh with you I will share your joy and sorrow Till we've seen this journey through

When we sing to God in heaven We shall find such harmony Born of all we've known together Of Christ's love and agony Friend, let me be your servant Let me be as Christ to you Pray that I may have the grace To let you be my servant, too

"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa

As we grow in wisdom, we pardon more freely.

Hello friends,
God blesses each of us in wondrous and amazing ways; my prayer today is that you take the time to see how He's working in your life. In Jesus' name. Amen.
I began these blogs with these objectives in mind: to address the superficial politics of being pro-life, or pro-choice; the idea of conscience; and lastly, to decide how the information has changed me, if indeed it has, in any way.
I gathered a lot of information about what it means to be pro-choice and pro-life, and a dear friend loaned me a book entitled, "Unplanned," written by Abby Johnson, and this is what tipped my thinking (besides God, of course)to the pro-life side.
Just a very brief summary of the book, Abby came from the same place I did: pro-choice. Through her book, I was able to see what it's like to be inside a Planned Parenthood facility, and outside the facility, through some of the pro-lifers. It's a good book. Check it out if you get a chance.
My point being: everything starts with education. Once people gather information about a topic, the more adept they will be at making a good decision for themselves.
Surprisingly, I thought I was going to still be a smug pro-choice advocate at the end of this 'series.' But I've got to tell you: God has really worked with me. He has gently lead me to a greater understanding of what goes on in abortion clinics, what circumstances lead a person to choose to have an abortion, etc.
I am not condemning or judging anyone if they decide to have an abortion, but, just like my friend at the very beginning of this 'talk,' told me, I'll pray for them.
Because ultimately, at the end of our lives, we stand before God and have to atone for the things we've done, or not done, with the talents God has given us.
I cannot, in all good conscience, stand before my Lord and Savior and say, I was pro-life, Lord, in everything (besides Jesus sees my heart and through any lie I'd tell). I was opposed to war, I was opposed to the death penalty, but I thought it was okay for people to choose to kill a life. I realize now the hypocrisy of my thinking. I understand too, that war, the death penalty, and yes, even abortions are 'government decisions,' i.e. law, and that as an individual in our society, I don't have a large say in any of those things, these things do and will happen, regardless of how I feel, or think about them...Wrong. I've protested wars before; I'm familiar with Amnesty International. I am an activist. No law will stop me from being an activist. And now I will work for the pro-life movement. Not fanatically, probably very low-key and behind the scenes, but I'll be in there and working for this cause.
Having written this much, I must also say that I can no longer vote for Democrats that are pro-choice. I'll be praying and asking God where He wants me politically.
As I learned, I hope you did too, and that maybe you'll be interested in checking out the book I mentioned.
"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa

Is this my final answer?

Hello friends,
May God bless each and every pair of eyes that is reading this page. Here is the prayer for today, from my favorite website, Word Among Us,“Jesus, take my hand, and lead me today. Open my eyes to the miracles you are working around me, and free me to rejoice at them.” In Jesus' Name, Amen.
"What a strange, long, road it has been," to quote the only lyrics I know from the Grateful Dead.
Two more definitions, and then I'm done 'defining' things.
Definition #1. What is a Liberal? This was taken from wiki, and yes, I know wiki isn't the best site to quote from, but I agree with this particular definition from them: "Liberals espouse a wide array of views depending on their understanding of these principles, but most liberals support such fundamental ideas as constitutions, liberal democracy, free and fair elections, human rights, capitalism, free trade, and the freedom of religion."
Please note the importance of this phrase: ‘depending on their understanding of these principles,’ because this is the crux of my argument about being ‘pro choice.'
Definition #2. What does a person mean when they say they are pro-choice? This comes from a website “Sexual Health Centre,” in Lunenburg County, Bridgewater, Nova Scotia, Canada: "To be pro-choice is to believe that a woman has the right to decide for herself when and whether to have a child. Pro-choice does not mean pro-abortion (the assumption being that pro-abortion means preferring that option to others). The pro-choice position does not advocate abortion over parenting or adoption. Pro-choice is a philosophy that believes each individual has the right to make decisions about their sexual and reproductive life. Self-determination is key, and regardless of a person’s decision (to use contraception, practice safer sex, abstain, become sexually active, utilize fertility interventions), each person has the right to make choices for their lives and circumstances.
In addition, the philosophy of choice means supporting comprehensive sexuality education and access to all reproductive options that are legal and safe. It means defending the right of individuals to make decisions for themselves based on their own beliefs, health, and situation, and without external interference, coercion, violence, inaccurate information, or judgment." Perfect. I wholeheartedly agree with this...or do I?...

"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa

Tideous, but worth it

Hello friends,
May you be Open to God as He blesses each of you. Lord bless me as I write this blog, to connect to the HS' will, and thus Your Will. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
To continue with my thoughts from my previous blog, more definitions and thoughts:
I am still quoting Bruce Sabalasky, and his website, www.ourladyswarriors.org, regarding “Freedom of Conscience”…that no one can be forced against his/her will to believe one thing or another. Only the individual person has the right to choose his/her beliefs. Yes, that means that even the 100% Truth of Catholic beliefs cannot be forced onto a person. Canon Law confirms this:
Can. 748 ß2 "It is never lawful for anyone to force others to embrace the Catholic faith against their conscience."
"However," continues Mr. Sabalasky, "this does not imply that one can believe anything and act accordingly, especially if one claims to be Catholic. As clearly stated previously, Vatican II Dignitatis Humanae tells us "In the formation of their consciences, the Christian faithful ought carefully to attend to the sacred and certain doctrine of the Church."
"Jesus' teachings as transmitted through His Church provide us the real freedom - the freedom from sin and eternal death (i.e. loss of salvation)."
I am certainly attempting to carefully attend to the “sacred and certain doctrine” of the Church.
Another site that was helpful to me in my search for truth in scrutinizing being pro-choice was Douglas McManaman’s site, www.catholiceducation.org; Douglas is a high school religion teacher. Here he is speaking of In Vitro Fertilization, and 'erroneous conscience.'
“If, for example, a Catholic claims to be able to choose In Vitro Fertilization in good conscience while knowing that the Church teaches that such an option is morally wrong, it must mean that he or she is convinced that it would be sinful not to choose that option. That would certainly constitute an erroneous conscience; nevertheless, he or she would be obliged to obey it.”
McManaman continues saying, that most people do not claim ‘erroneous conscience’ when acting contrary to Catholic teaching.
“But conscience does not mean that Catholics are free to act on the basis of what they personally judge is morally right in spite of Church teaching. Catholic conversion, as the etymology of “conversion” indicates, means a complete turn around (vertere), implying movement in a new direction in conjunction with (con) the community of Christ’s Mystical Body. As St. Paul says: “We all were among them too in the past, living sensual lives, ruled entirely by our own physical desires and our own ideas” (Eph 2, 3).
What I take from this is the fact that I can claim 'erroneous conscience' for being pro-choice, but that Christ calls us to something greater; I need to be 'unguarded', as it were, to what Christ is delivering to me, through His Church. The Church is pro-life. No exceptions, either. The Catholic Church opposes War, the Death Penalty, and Euthanasia. I like that...
Okay, reader, just a little more, and then I'll wrap things up...

"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa

Hello friends,
Heavenly Father, please continue to bless and guide my thoughts and my writing. "Lord, teach me to use the authority you've given me to proclaim your truth in love and humility." (This is taken from one of my favorite websites: www.wau.org aka "Word Among Us.")
To continue with the points I made in my last blog, I will first address the 'superficial' political landscape regarding abortion.
Politicians, on both sides of the aisle, have failed us as a society with regards to providing an alternative to abortion. Adoption of a child is NOT an easy process in the US. I truly believe as a nation we need to make adoption an easier procedure.  I have heard it said that if it weren't for the issue of abortion the conservative party wouldn't have a platform at all; but rather than delve any further into this foray, suffice it to say that society has been duped, yet again, by the politicking on important issues.
Now for some defintions.
How does the Catholic Church define conscience? For the answer I turned to, you guessed it, the Catechism of the Catholic Church. Bruce Sabalasky, on his website, www.ourladyswarriors.org, in an article entitled, "The Role and Freedom of Conscience," breaks it down like this:
Catholic View of Conscience
God's law written into a person's very heart.
Secular (Humanist) View of Conscience
Moral sense or inner feeling.
Catholic View of Conscience
A law which man does not impose on himself, because it comes from God.
Secular (Humanist) View of Conscience
Emanates from within the person ("sense," "feeling")
Catholic View of Conscience
Love good, avoid evil, love God and neighbor - always.
Secular (Humanist) View of Conscience
No guidance as to what "goodness" means. Therefore, anything goes as long as the "conscience is clear."
Catholic View of Conscience
To be obeyed.
Secular (Humanist) View of Conscience
Just another factor which affects behavior.
Catholic View of Conscience
Offers a person his/her very dignity.
Secular (Humanist) View of Conscience
Dignity is ignored.
Here is the definition of Secular humanism, from wiki, Secular Humanism is a comprehensive life stance that focuses on the way human beings can lead happy and functional lives. Though it posits that human beings are capable of being ethical and moral without religion or God, it neither assumes humans to be inherently or innately good, nor presents humans as "above nature" or superior to it. Rather, the Humanist life stance emphasises the unique responsibility facing humanity and the ethical consequences of human decisions. Fundamental to the concept of Secular Humanism is the strongly held belief that ideology — be it religious or political — must be thoroughly examined by each individual and not simply accepted or rejected on faith.[1] Along with this belief, an essential part of Secular Humanism is a continually adapting search for truth, primarily through science and philosophy.

To be continued, of course...

"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa

Conscience or conscious?

Hello friends,
      Heavenly Father, please bless and guide my words. I need some insight, compassion, and humor as I write this blog, Lord. Thank you. In Jesus' name, Amen. 
        Recently, a friend of mine was telling me about his experience as a "Sidewalk counselor," at an abortion clinic.
       "What do you think a Sidewalk Counselor does?" He asked.
       I answered, rather smugly, "You try to talk girls and women out of having an abortion."
       "No," he said.
       "Well, what then?"
       "We ask them if we can pray."
        Maybe a week after this conversation, Congress passes a law stating that "a doctor would have to describe to a woman the details of a sonogram hours before performing the abortion. The doctor would show the woman the sonogram and play the heartbeat audibly, unless the patient opts out. Even if the patient opts out, the doctor would have to describe the development of the fetus, including its dimensions. Women with fetal abnormalities, or who have been a victim of rape or incest, are given an exception." The Texas Tribune
        There is also talk of de-funding Planned Parenthood because they perform abortions, even though 'by law, Planned Parenthood cannot allocate any federal funding for abortions.' (wikipedia)
        These two things happening, and the dialogue with my friend, has prompted me, once again, to re-visit, my views on abortion. As many of you know,  I am 'pro-choice,' and recent events in my spiritual life, feeling and getting closer to God, have caused me to think ever more deeply about why I am pro-choice.
        Sure, most people will argue that 'it's not a choice, it's a baby,' or 'you can't be Catholic and pro-choice.' And I think these are easy catch-phrases, but they leave me unsatisfied and wanting.           
       I consider myself a truly honest Catholic, - I don't just 'follow the rules,' of the church without trying to understand what the teaching means, how it will fit into my life, and because I am a thinker, I must delve into this issue more:
firstly, by cracking the superficial political surface;
secondly, by swimming to my definition of conscience and examining it carefully;
and thirdly, by wrapping my pea-brain around the Church's definition of conscience;
        As I ponder these things, I am cognizant of the fact that throughout this process there is a chance my definition will change in some significant way, if needed;
       And lastly, somehow after all this contemplation, meditation, and reflection, and with Jesus leading me back to the top, for He is the only Presence I am hanging on to as I make this journey, I can live more fully in His Light. Afterall, He alone holds the underwater lamplight to all of Me, asking Me to uncover myself, to open myself up completely to Him, and to my Self, the person the Lord created.     "I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God, who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa

Sometimes

Hello friends,
Heavenly Father, please help marriages that are in trouble, guide all single people to remain faithful and true to their Christian-Catholic calling, and for everyone I said I would pray for, this is a prayer for them. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
Situations happen. To everyone.
Recently I made a fairly big, uncomfortable, awkward situation happen, and I am not proud of it (nor will I divulge what it is - you have an imagination - use it).
Fortunately, after a grueling period of isolation, prayer and repentance (embarassing chuckle), the quandry is no more, and in the midst of this er, 'process,' I learned something important about True Friendship: if a person(s) still likes you after they see ugliness in you, then they are True Friends.
I am proud and honored to call the people involved in my self-created fiasco, my friends; which leads me to another prayer today: may you be blessed with friends -not just a spouse, or lover(s)- but friends, who love you 'warts and all,' because it is a powerful and privileged relationship to have and behold.
In Jesus' Name. Amen.

"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa

Take time for laughter

Hello friends!
Heavenly Father, bless all four eyes, lol, reading this blog. Prayers for everyone I said a prayer for, and thanksgiving for all prayers You've answered, and for Your continuous blessings upon us. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
Anyone who knows me well, knows I enjoy laughing and making others laugh, so I'm posting five of my favorite youtube videos - two from movies, the others from t.v.. ENJOY











Alas! I could not get any SEINFELD videos posted - it wasn't allowed! To give you an idea of one of my all time favs of Seinfeld, though, go to youtube and type in "Seinfeld Kramer Bus." It is HILARIOUS! "You're batman!" "You kept makin' all the stops?" Take time to laugh, it soothes the soul.

"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa

Lupita

Hello Friends,
My family's beloved Aunt Lupe died yesterday, in El Paso. Her body may still be on Earth, but I pray her soul is resting comfortably in the arms of Jesus. May her soul, and all the souls of the faithfully departed, rest in peace. In Jesus' name. Amen.
My mom has six siblings; besides her, two others are living: Tia Helina and Tia Luisa. (I use the present tense because I believe that even though a person dies, they are still family.) Both of my remaining Tias live in El Paso (EP), with the other siblings buried in various places throughout the city.

My Tia's are from left to right: in the green dress, Tia Helina; my Aunt Luisa is the one getting married; my mamagrande is next to her; my mom's head is behind my mamagrande, lol; my Tia Lupe is in the black dress with the white band; my Tia Rosa is in the purple dress.
My Tia Lupe and Luisa are twins, and I called my Tia Luisa to ask her some questions about Lupe's life.
"Lupe met her husband, Mark, at a gas station, where he worked. Lupe wanted me to check him out and tell her what I thought, so she took me to meet him. I thought he was attractive. At one point, when Lupe went to the restroom I think, he asked me out on a date. I told him I was engaged, which I was, and showed him my ring."
"Did you ever tell Lupe?" I asked.
"No, I never did. I didn't want to hurt her feelings. But I encouraged her to keep going to the gas station (laughs). She did. They dated and we had a double wedding, with a reception at the Hilton." Both Tia's were twenty-two years old when they got married.
Tia Lupe has one daughter, Diana, two grandchildren, Jackie and Jr, and one great-grandchild, Anthony.
Diana asked everyone at the funeral to say a few words about my Tia. I was happy to hear the phrases, "always laughing, or making you laugh," used often.
My own memories of Tia Lupe aren't as sweet as everyone’s at the funeral, but death has a way of putting things in perspective. I feel I made my peace with Tia Lupe years ago, on my last visit to EP, earlier this decade. Who has time to rehash the past anyway, when the present is so full of good things? In 2002, I remember Tia Lupe and I chatted about various things, and I enjoyed her company. Being an adult has it's privileges. Past hurts are put in their proper place: the past; and if there's one thing my dad's death taught me, it's the power of forgiveness.
As a child, I didn't understand why my Tia Lupe said and did odd things. I was reminded over and over by Tia Luisa and Cousin Diana that, "Tia Lupe has a metal plate in her head and this causes her to behave in strange ways." I knew my Tia had had surgery, but nothing else. I asked my Tia Luisa about it.
"When Lupe was in her thirties, she began having problems with her eye sight. She went to a specialist and they found she had a benign tumor in the front of her brain. When they removed it, they put a metal plate where they had removed part of her skull."
My Tia Luisa's words reminded me of a story I got in trouble for repeating.
Besides the brain tumor surgery, my Tia Lupe had her breasts reduced; I don’t know how old she was when she had this done, but I was fourteen when she told me the story of her procedure.
"While I was lying on the operating table, and just before they put me to sleep, I noticed that the doctor’s eyes’ crossed when he saw my ample bosom! I think he was shocked at how big I was, and boy did I laugh inside myself at his expression!" My Tia and I both burst out laughing.

My Cousin Diana and Tia Luisa were very angry with me for narrating this story to Andrew, my fifteen-year-old neighbor. "Remember, Tia Lupe has a metal plate and it makes her say things she shouldn't!"
Rest in Peace, Tia, you'll be missed.

"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa

Universal child

Hello friends,
      May the Christmas spirit, with all it's goodness and cheer, remain with us throughout the coming year. Know that you are loved; yes, even in those deep, dark recesses where you think no one sees your pain, your suffering, your addictions, and all the other kinds of Hell that plague a human heart. God see it all and Loves us so much!
     I'm attaching the lyrics and video to the song by Annie Lennox entitled, "Universal child." It's from her latest, "A Christmas Cornucopia." My brother turned me onto to this CD a few days before Christmas and I haven't been able to stop listening...This one especially goes out to Carrot and Stephen...Heart y'all.
For me, this is JC telling us just a fraction of the things He wants for us, and has in store for us:

How many mountains must you face before you learn to climb.
I'm gonna give you what it takes, my universal child.

I'm gonna try to find a way to keep you safe from harm.
I'm gonna be a special place, a shelter from the storm.
And I can see you, you’re everywhere, your portrait fills the sky.
I'm gonna wrap my arms around you, my universal child.

And when I look into your eyes, so innocent and pure.
I see the shadow of the things that you've had to endure.
I see the tracks of every tear that ran ran down your face.
I see the hurt, I see the pain, I see the human race.
I can feel you, your everywhere, shining like the sun.
And I wished to god that kids like you could be like everyone.

How many tumbles must it take before you learn to fly.
I'm going to help you spread your wings, my universal child.

I can feel you everywhere shining like the sun.
And I wished to god that kids like you could be like everyone.
And I wished to god that kids like you could be like everyone.

"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa

Suffering

Hello friends,

     Please pray and send positive thoughts to all couples in the process of conceiving; remember and say prayers for the lonely, the homeless, and those without Hope in their lives. Jesus, please have mercy on these souls, and send an angel in human form to comfort them. Amen.

     I know writing about suffering during Christmas may seem an odd thing to do, but it's where I found myself yesterday as I was reflecting on Mary, Jesus' mother.

     The bible doesn't say if Mary realized exactly what her Yes would entail, but she did receive hints about what life with Jesus would be like, when Simeon, upon seeing baby Jesus, tells her (Luke 2:35), "...and a sword will pierce your own soul too," which I interpret to mean the pain she was to feel at the Crucifixion of her son.

     When my heart grows heavy with sadness at whatever perceived sorrow I am feeling, I remind myself of Mary, the Mother of us all, and the true Agony she felt upon seeing Jesus hanging above her. I unite my sorrows with hers, and I ask for the same faith, hope, and strength she had.

     Our society likes to avoid grieving and who can blame it? Who wants to cry their heart out, or be depressed for days on end? No one! And yet, no matter how we try to avoid pain, or cheat it, it comes to us.

     Mary's "Yes," doesn't end at Christ's crucifixion though. We are a people of the Resurrection!

     Jesus is our hope. He is the Ultimate Healer. Invite Him into your life today. He won't guarantee a life free from difficulties or misfortune, but He will provide you with what you need to deal with any malady.

     May you feel God's graces pouring on you each and every day.

     Merry Christmas!

"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa

Trippin'

Hello friends,
      Special prayers of healing and strength for a very special person; for all marriages and single people, may God continue to bless all of our paths and shower His graces on us, daily. In Jesus name. Amen.
     As many of you may or may not know, my family and I went to Natchitoches, LA, (pronounced knack-uh-dish) for a mini-vacay this past weekend.
      I must commend Carlton for organizing this lovely excursion. He simply outdid himself as far as Christmas destinations are concerned. He also put together a splendid agenda for us; from the scenic drive there, to historic plantations, a fab fireworks display, and a minor basilica for good measure. As we stealthily drove through quaint, tiny towns, the decades old architecture seemed to be beckon us to their sleepy neighborhoods and store shops.
     The first place we stopped was Woody's Smokehouse, "The Jerky Capital of the World," for some delish deli sandwiches, which brought us to our second stop, Davy Crockett National Forest. Here's how the 'official' website describes the park, "The Davy Crockett National Forest, named for the legendary pioneer, contains more than 160,000 acres of East Texas woodlands, streams, recreation areas, and wildlife habitat. Located in Houston and Trinity Counties, the forest is centrally located within the Neches and Trinity River basins. The Davy Crockett National Forest was proclaimed a National Forest by President Franklin Roosevelt on October 15, 1936." I know now why I always liked Roosevelt. :)

     God has great surprises for us, if we only open our eyes and hearts to His graces. I had no idea I'd be blessed to step into a minor basilica. What is a minor basilica? According to the Catholic Encyclopedia, "In architecture, the term basilica signifies a kingly, and secondarily a beautiful, hall. The name indicates the Eastern origin of the building, but it is in the West, above all in Rome, that the finest examples of the basilica are found. Between 184 and 121 B.C. there were built in the Forum at Rome the basilicas of Porcia, Fulvia, Sempronia, and Opimia; after 46 B.C. the great Basilica Julia of Caesar and Augustus was erected. These buildings were designed to beautify the Forum and to be of use both for market purposes and for the administration of justice. They were open to the public and were well lighted."
Minor basilicas in the spiritual sense are closer to God, kidding, no, it just means in the hierarchy of churches are concerned, the minor basilica is a great treasure.
Here are a few privileges given a minor basilica, "These "privileges", besides conferring a certain precedence before other churches (not, however, before the cathedral of any locality), include the right of the conopaeum, the bell, and the cappa magna. The conopaeum is a sort of umbrella (also called papilio, sinicchio, etc.), which together with the bell is carried processionally at the head of the clergy on state occasions. The cappa magna is worn by the canons or members of the collegiate chapter, if seculars, when assisting at Office. The form of the conopaeum, which is of red and yellow silk, is well shown in the arms of the cardinal camerlengo (see vol. VII, p. 242, coloured plate) over the cross keys.

And here's a photo of the Minor Basilica in Natchitoches:

     I highly recommend this lovely "Christmas town," for your next 'winter' holiday vacation. It's got the right pace (slow), attitude (people are friendly), and small town feel without being snobby, or cliquish. Just a real family treat. Book early, though, B and B's, and hotels, fill up quickly.

"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Mother Theresa